What do you call a jerking off well-endowed midget?

A huge short coming.

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What do you call 2 polar bears jerking each other off?

Bi-polar

What do you call an Irish midget?

Whatever their name is, you insensitive jerk.

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What do you call a well-endowed Asian man?

Hung Lo

What do you call a lesbian with huge thumbs?

Well-endowed. http://img487.imageshack.us/img487/3628/ellenplaidshirt022ex9.jpg