Jerk Jokes

Why was the powerlifter fired from his job at the restaurant?

He was awesome at cleaning the bar, but he wouldn't stop jerking it.

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What did they say about the guy who woke up and jerked off on his alarm clock every day?

He always came on time.

What's the difference between fishing and dating?

In one you don't want to jerk the hook, but in the other you don't want to hook the jerk.

Why are jerks nice sometimes?

Standard deviation of the mean (OC, as far as I know)

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

How many Budists does it take... How many Budists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. The change, if needed, will come from within.

How did robbers gain entry to steal from Miley Cyrus?

They came in like a wrecking ball.

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

What do you call a white guy who grew up in the ghetto?

Tarzan.

Did you know crocodiles could grow up to 15 feet?

But most just have 4.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Where's the best place to go if you want a little head?

The 2016 Olympics.

What did the little girl's parents want for Christmas?

A better son.

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

What did Bea Arthur whisper in her lover's ear?

An elaborate fantasy in which she is in prison and tries to escape by chewing through the bars of her cell.

What did the horse say when it walked into the bar?

Ouch...

Hook Jokes More Hook Jokes

What did the one eyed thief, with a hook for a hand, call the elven princess?

Arrrrrrr-wen

How do you catch a dyslexic fish?

Ya get it Hooked on Phonics!

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

Why did the programmer quit his job?

Because he didn't get arrays.

Why did the man get a job as a horse handler?

He wanted stable employment

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What's the most problematic time of day?

4:04

Why are indecisive miners the worst?

Because all day they deal with ores.

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

What excuse did the unemployed cellist give for going Dutch with his date?

He's flat Baroque...

Why did the raisin take the prune to the New Year's ball?

Because he couldn't find a date!