It goes back four seconds.
In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
Because he took the stairs.
It's near-humerus.
I would've gotten second if it weren't for you medaling kids.
The first one is the engagement ring...the second one is the wedding ring...and the third one is the suffering.
Amhere. What do you call the second Afghan off the boat? Amhere Azwel. What do you call the third Afghan off the boat? Amhere Azwell Azhim.
Because he was drunk Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was tied to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure
The second (right to bare arms)
Because it's re-fined!
The second telephone.
It doesn't make sense, he and all his friends are always stuck in second gear
So he'll only be the second worst president ever.
That was time consuming but I still want seconds.
Why did the second monkey fall off the tree? Why did the third monkey fall of the tree? Peer pressure.
The second hand shop.
Reservation reservation reservations.
We've had to wait 2,000 years for his second coming.
The second lacks the hypocrisy of the first.
Are we there soon?" "Not jet."
A bull-ette.
They both form a bond in seconds, last (ideally) forever, and are dissolved by alcohol.
The second coming of Jess.
Don't look I'm changing
An Anne-Boleyn-ce.
The second one.
Buzz.....
None. They can't get up that high!
Only 12. One for every month.
Ly a second.
Recyc-bling (I'm pretty sure I thought of this myself but I used to smoke the Mary Jane a lot so......)
The second one's a race for the cure. Shamelessely stolen from.
Two. One to do it, a second to keep yelling, "You're lookin' BIG, man!"
A reservation reservation reservation. Credit to Brian Regan, this is my favorite joke of his!
He was second to Nun.
What's fastest thing in the world?
Anether(another) Nether
The constellation prize.
A re-cyclist.
See you next month.
Second gear.
The second m is silent.
30 because that's peasants work.
She heard about his second coming
12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.
Find out after the break.
He went to the second-hand shop.
Don't look I'm changing!!
Er two. Or maybe one. No --- on second thoughts make that two. Is that okay with you
Owlgebra.
Asked one. "Because" said the second "it says 'tear along the dotted line'!"
They go back four seconds.
Red paint! Whats green, and smells like red paint Green paint :) Can't believe how many time I switch to the second, and they don't get it!
He didn't want to play second fidel
Daughter: I think you old people call it: "second base"
A second line
A flat minor.
Spa-catti!
The first is a super hero, the second is a simple command.
Because they die at the last second.
2. What do you call his first victim 3. What do you call his second victim 1. Bernie 2. Crispin 3. Ash
The second cat because un deux trois cat sank.
The second gun says, "In some old magazine I found."
Second Clown: I always perform in the big top.
The second one!
She replied, "No. First a Gibson, second a Fender."
FROZE-- oh, nevermind.
Madam President.
You have only one second to guess the answer. No pressure.
Second Boy: Because he's got a screw loose!
Grover Cleveland. He was the twenty second President.
Second Caribou: The litterbug.
She pronounces 'Kansas' like the second part of 'Arkansas'
They both came in a little behind.
Second Caribou: Evel Boll Weevil.
Hose B
Receiving a text from your girlfriend saying that you're breaking up or receiving a second text after saying that it was supposed to be for someone else
God: Like one second. Mortal: What is a million dollars like to you God: Like one penny. Mortal: Can I have a penny God: Just a second.
The twenty second ones and the thirty second ones
Disappointed.
Dave: I wish I was rich. Genie: Granted, what's your second wish Rich: I want lots of money.
He was a body-builder
Because it was More ER Tea.
Twelve
The second Eskimo says "Alaska."
Because XD Edit: Sorry about the typo the second are is not supposed to be here
Three. One to post it, the second to post a better punchline in the comments, and the third to complain that it's a repost.
It makes no sense, he's not a good driver, he and all his friends are always stuck in second gear
Two: one to get it 95% done, and the second to give it the twist at the end.
Second to third, because there's a short stop in the middle!
To go to the second hand shop
Because you don't have to wait an hour for seconds.
Leap Day, but Spring Forward is a close second.
The Sioux chef
SECOND PIGLET: He signs his letters with lots of hogs and kisses.
That's a reservation reservation reservation. (Credit to Brian Regan)
It went back four seconds.
12. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd.... etc
He had one-million dollars, but no cents.
Damn it!
They wanted a better celery!
He couldn't budget.
Lost
Morgue Attendant
Oh god, a caucus!" cuz he has a new england accent
Cain you tell!
A. They really raised Cain.
It's 9.18 am and 12 seconds no wait - 13 seconds no wait - 14 seconds no wait......
13 seconds of eye contact.
