It goes back four seconds.
In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
Because he took the stairs.
It's near-humerus.
I would've gotten second if it weren't for you medaling kids.
The first one is the engagement ring...the second one is the wedding ring...and the third one is the suffering.
The second (right to bare arms)
Because it's re-fined!
The second telephone.
It doesn't make sense, he and all his friends are always stuck in second gear
So he'll only be the second worst president ever.
That was time consuming but I still want seconds.
Why did the second monkey fall off the tree? Why did the third monkey fall of the tree? Peer pressure.
The second hand shop.
Reservation reservation reservations.
Are we there soon?" "Not jet."
A bull-ette.
They both form a bond in seconds, last (ideally) forever, and are dissolved by alcohol.
Don't look I'm changing
An Anne-Boleyn-ce.
The second one.
Buzz.....
None. They can't get up that high!
Only 12. One for every month.
Ly a second.
Recyc-bling (I'm pretty sure I thought of this myself but I used to smoke the Mary Jane a lot so......)
Two. One to do it, a second to keep yelling, "You're lookin' BIG, man!"
A reservation reservation reservation. Credit to Brian Regan, this is my favorite joke of his!
He was second to Nun.
What's fastest thing in the world?
Anether(another) Nether
The constellation prize.
A re-cyclist.
See you next month.
Second gear.
30 because that's peasants work.
12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.
Find out after the break.
He went to the second-hand shop.
Don't look I'm changing!!
Er two. Or maybe one. No --- on second thoughts make that two. Is that okay with you
Owlgebra.
They go back four seconds.
Red paint! Whats green, and smells like red paint Green paint :) Can't believe how many time I switch to the second, and they don't get it!
He didn't want to play second fidel
Spa-catti!
The first is a super hero, the second is a simple command.
Because they die at the last second.
The second cat because un deux trois cat sank.
The second gun says, "In some old magazine I found."
Second Clown: I always perform in the big top.
The second one!
She replied, "No. First a Gibson, second a Fender."
FROZE-- oh, nevermind.
Madam President.
You have only one second to guess the answer. No pressure.
Second Boy: Because he's got a screw loose!
Grover Cleveland. He was the twenty second President.
Second Caribou: The litterbug.
She pronounces 'Kansas' like the second part of 'Arkansas'
They both came in a little behind.
Second Caribou: Evel Boll Weevil.
Hose B
Receiving a text from your girlfriend saying that you're breaking up or receiving a second text after saying that it was supposed to be for someone else
The twenty second ones and the thirty second ones
Disappointed.
Dave: I wish I was rich. Genie: Granted, what's your second wish Rich: I want lots of money.
He was a body-builder
Because it was More ER Tea.
Twelve
Because XD Edit: Sorry about the typo the second are is not supposed to be here
Three. One to post it, the second to post a better punchline in the comments, and the third to complain that it's a repost.
It makes no sense, he's not a good driver, he and all his friends are always stuck in second gear
Two: one to get it 95% done, and the second to give it the twist at the end.
Second to third, because there's a short stop in the middle!
To go to the second hand shop
Leap Day, but Spring Forward is a close second.
The Sioux chef
That's a reservation reservation reservation. (Credit to Brian Regan)
It went back four seconds.
12. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd.... etc
The first guy says "Ouch!" and the second says "Yeah, I didn't see it either."
Hide their trainers.
Me: A sword is harder to hide.
Adam up and tell me the total!
I'm turning over a new leaf.
They start with 2 million.
Invest a billion.
Let's see. There'sKneehighmiah, Bildad the Shoe-Height...oh, and Peter, who said, "Silver andgold I have none," and no one could be much shorter than that.
Lunch 11:35.
Look mom, an angel!
A God dam engineer.
To the wax museum.
Pupil: I get up early!
A bear-icade
