What did Bernie Sanders say when he found a dead body at a Democratic Party meeting to select candidates and decide policy?

Oh god, a caucus!" cuz he has a new england accent

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Why don't we wait for life on other planets to find us?

Why do we have to do all the work

When one gun says to the other, "Damn dude, those are some nice bullets, where'd you get them?

The second gun says, "In some old magazine I found."

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What did the fast food employee do when he decided to quit?

He chicken tendered his resignation.

Why did the Soviets decide to be Russian?

Cuz they got tired of Stalin.

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What's Alderaan's main export?

Dead bodies.

What's the difference between a musician and a dead body?

One composes, the other decomposes...

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What did Bernie Sanders say when he found a dead body at a Democratic Party meeting to select candidates and decide policy?

Oh god, a caucus!" cuz he has a new england accent

What's your strength?

Candidate: I fall in love easily. Interviewer: What's your weakness? Candidate: Those blue eyes of yours.

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What's the difference between Bernie Sanders and a free lunch?

Bernie Sanders exists.

What's Bernie Sanders favorite Christmas Carols?

Deck the halls with boughs of free cash

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What did one coconut say to the other?

Oh my god a talking coconut!

What did Nicolas Cage say when his daughters grades came through?

Oh God, not the B's!

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What's the policy at French morgues?

Baguette and tag it.

What did Bernie Sanders say when he found a dead body at a Democratic Party meeting to select candidates and decide policy?

Oh god, a caucus!" cuz he has a new england accent

Select Jokes More Select Jokes

Why was Timothy, the British astronaut, selected to go to the ISS?

He was in Peake condition.

What were the favorite Linux text editors of 8 randomly selected Monty Python fans?

Vim, vim, vim, vim, vim, vim, emacs, and vim.

Democratic Party Jokes More Democratic Party Jokes

What did Bernie Sanders say when he found a dead body at a Democratic Party meeting to select candidates and decide policy?

Oh god, a caucus!" cuz he has a new england accent