Joke of the Day

Why did the girl bring 2 basketballs to the basketball game?

Because there was 2 basketball courts. DUH!

What element can combine with two nitrogens and an oxygen, and still have there be only one element?

XeNON.

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Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What did the ruler gain a reputation for while campaigning?

Straight talk.

What's the difference between a doctor and a chair salesman?

The chair salesman gives YOU a stool sample.

What was Justin Timberlake called when he was a kid?

Justin Timberpuddle!

Why did Bill Nye crash his car?

Because inertia is a property of matter.

What kind of trainer are you?

T: I'm a Megan Trainor.

Who reads the news AND makes coffee?

Katie Keurig. (I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)

What do you call a group of ears?

A heard

What is a Skywalker's preferred temperature?

Lukewarm.

What's the easiest way to tell if somebody's lying?

He/she's not sitting or standing!

Why did Shakespeare refuse to join the army?

He didn't like the phrase fire at will!

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What's a narcissist's favorite color?

Reflection

What kind of music does your mailman like?

Postrock/Postpunk

Why did the animal shelter relocate to Nebraska?

So they could make corn dogs.

What's it called when you fry up an egg with a bunch of different ingredients?

Omelette you figure it out

Why did the Skeleton cross the road?

Question: Why did the Skeleton cross the road? Answer: To go to the body shop.

What was the console gamer's New Years Resolution?

1280x720

Whats a yoga instructors favourite kind of coffee?

Pilatte

Why is Rengar so OP?

Because E: Bola Strike.

What did the tree say to the mountain?

Stop peaking at me.

What do you call Bruce Lee's mom when she's making obvious statements?

A parent, Lee.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Why were you speeding when I stopped you?

Motorist: So I could race home to get my license and registration.

What is the most famous shark?

William Sharkspeare!

How did they know Christa McAuliffe had dandruff?

They found her head and shoulders on the beach

How long is a 0 or 1?

Just a little bit.

Why can't we edit tweets?

Because if we could I would edit a tweet with 2,000 retweets to say "RT if you hate puppies and babies."

Why do they call me seven days?

Because I'm weak.

Why did Gandalf never listen to the song "Dream Police"?

Because he was no conjurer of Cheap Trick

What do you call a squadron of baby soldiers?

Infantry.

What do you call a bee's rear end?

A Bee-Hind

What do you call the National Conference for Bridgebuilders?

RubiCon.

Why are we making such a big deal about the wheels on the bus going round and round?

They're wheels.

What do you get when you cross a mad cow and an angry sheep?

An animal in a very baaaaaaad mooooooood

What do you call a badly cooked beef?

A misteak.

What kind of music does a pirate like?

Arrr'n'B

Who fills in for the president of Russia when he's on leave?

Deputin

Who do ghosts worship?

Boo, DUH!!!

Why did the fencer downvote my latest submission?

It was a Riposte.

What Olympic event that involves throwing should be eliminated?

Discuss

What do you call the day before Christmas Eve?

Christmas Adam

Sorry Guy Jokes More Sorry Guy Jokes

What did the facial hair say when it had to leave the party?

Sorry guys, moustache!

Oj Simpson Jokes More Oj Simpson Jokes

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to Alabama?

Everyone has the same DNA.

What are OJ Simpson's favorite keys on a computer?

Return Home Slash Slash Backslash Shift Shift Shift Escape

Chilean Mining Company Jokes More Chilean Mining Company Jokes
Supreme Court Jokes More Supreme Court Jokes

What if George Lucas was the new Supreme Court justice?

Lucas gets indicted after video surfaces of him tampering with previous decisions he made.

What Supreme Court decision applies to fishermen bringing a small boat to shore?

Row v. Wade

Voat Jokes More Voat Jokes

What's the difference between Reddit and Voat?

Reddit doesn't constantly have reposts from the other site.

How do you escape a fascist authoritarian regime?

By getting aboard (a) voat

Pisa Jokes More Pisa Jokes

Why does the Leaning Tower of Pisa lean?

It is italicized.

Why is the leaning tower of Pisa in Italy?

It's Italicized

Sulk Jokes More Sulk Jokes

What do they do for the 4th of July in England?

Sulk.

What is green and sits crying in the corner?

The incredible Sulk.

Radio Host Jokes More Radio Host Jokes

What do you call a radio host with a broken leg?

Maggie

Why can't a fish be a radio host?

Because if he goes on air, he'll die.