Why can't we edit tweets?

Because if we could I would edit a tweet with 2,000 retweets to say "RT if you hate puppies and babies."

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Puppy Jokes More Puppy Jokes

Why is it called a "litter" of puppies?

Because they mess up the whole house!

What did the puppy say when it sat on sandpaper?

Ruff

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why do kangaroos hate rainy days?

Because all the kids have to play in side.

What do you call a tree that hates this joke?

A face palm.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What did the woman say while she was having a baby?

This could use some salt.

Why do babies cry when they're born?

Because it's the most painful day in their lives

Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

How does Walter Palmer like his eggs?

Poached. Thank you, I'm here all week. EDIT: this got no upvotes and I don't think it deserved any

Why did the bird refuse Martin Luther's food?

It was on a strict diet of worms. edit: changed pronoun to avoid ambiguity

2000 Jokes More 2000 Jokes

How do you move a 2000 lb dinosaur?

Don't know?? Use DINO-MITE

Why has Stonehenge been there since 2000 BC?

Because it's stoned.

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

How many teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It takes 1 to screw it in, and 99 to tweet about it.

Why did the boy carry a clock and a bird on Halloween?

It was for 'tick or tweet'!