What do you call a tree that hates this joke?

A face palm.

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Why is this joke bad for the environment?

Because it wasn't recycled.

Why the big pause................................?

Said the man in the pub to the bear. First heard this joke told by Eddie Izzard.

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Why do North Americans hate playing chess?

Cause they lack the towers.

Why do terrorists hate air planes made of water?

Because they hate waterboarding.

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What do you call a man in a tree with a briefcase?

A branch manager.

What kind of tree fits in your hand?

A palm tree!