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How do I stay in shape?

I stole an ostrich, it chases me around the house all day, i hate it

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Which day is the most agreeable?

Yesterday

How is Jesus different from other carpenters?

Unlike other carpenters, Jesus may actually return one day

House Jokes More House Jokes

What disease did the house have?

Shingles.

What do women and hand grenades have in common?

When you pull the ring off, your house goes away

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

What do you call a grammatical rendezvous?

Accommadate I hate me for this..

Why do Hutus hate Dustin Hoffman?

He impersonated a Tootsie.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

Why didn't the man report his stolen credit card?

The thief was spending less then his wife.

Why did the man who stole my crops take aspirin?

Because he had my grains

Shape Jokes More Shape Jokes

What shape does a muppet follow when throw through the air?

Pa-Ra-Bo-La (do doooo do dodo)

Why are contortionists always angry?

Their work usually has them pretty bent out of shape.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

Why did the University of Oklahoma researcher stay awake every night?

He was trying to find a cure for insomnia.

How does Optimus Prime stay young looking?

Autobotulism

Chase Jokes More Chase Jokes

Why did the dog jump into the sea?

He wanted to chase the catfish!

What did the dog say when he chased his tail?

This is the end.

Ostrich Jokes More Ostrich Jokes

What do you call the offspring of Rick Ross and an Ostrich?

RickRosstrich.

How do I stay in shape?

I stole an ostrich, it chases me around the house all day, i hate it