Why do mathematicians hate the U.S.?

Because it's indivisible.

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Why did Aristotle hate French fries?

They were fried in ancient grease!

What's the difference between love and hate?

A) Usually about 6 months.

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What do mathematicians read for fun?

Conics

What did the mathematician do when he was constipated?

He worked it out with a pencil...

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What do Filipinos call Canada?

Upper U.S.

Why did both Germany and the U.S want to hire Apes during World War Two?

Because they are excellent at waging Gorilla warfare!