Because it was Stalin! (Sorry. Communist jokes aren't funny unless every gets them.)
Cincinnati Zoo keeps trying to shoot them down.
Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.
Screw it. EDIT: has a better answer
Nun.
Amburgers & Woot Beer! Edit: Thanks to my dad for this one.
You're probably Australian. EDIT: I mean venomous, not poisonous. I am sorry
Michael Chewbacca EDIT: Some people don't get the joke..... Michael schumacher is a F1 race car driving legend.
You don't cry when you cut up a saxophone. Happy Saxophone Day Why this musical abomination deserves its own day is beyond me. Edit: beside to beyond
Poached. Thank you, I'm here all week. EDIT: this got no upvotes and I don't think it deserved any
A Tyrannosaurus Wrecks. EDIT: Spelled "Tyrannosaurus" incorrectly.
You. Why I oughta...! Edit: Wow, thanks for all the love. My son is quite the character and he really caught me off guard with this!
To get to the other slide. Edit: spelling.
They're a little Chewie. (Edit: Wookiee***)
Where on Earth have you been?!
You never appreciate them until they go down on you. edit: computers
Divine intervention. edit: Oh.
Nothing. It's a gift she will always remember. Edit: Wording clarified (Thanks to therinnovator).
Because he was sheet faced.
Not enough cement EDIT: Okay thanks for pointing out that I messed up the wording but the joke is supposed to be the funny part
A punkin. Edit: and apparently not me.
Doctor Dolittle
He smelled a little fishy. Edit: a word.
It was on a strict diet of worms. edit: changed pronoun to avoid ambiguity
Tulips on an organ. Edit: accidentally a letter.
So long and thanks for all the fish." Edit: Everyone hates me.
Mine is: What is the white stuff in bird poop? (That is also bird poop.) edit: til you can't edit the topic to fix spelling errors...
A flat miner. EDIT: spelling
To get to the Occupy! EDIT: To get to the other side/Occupy?
Gingerbread. Edit: This is more of an out-loud joke. So, maybe it'll help if it read: "Ginger-bred" instead.
If she's only wearing one sock. (This joke brought to you courtesy the homeless guy outside my local 7-11.) Edit: tweaked the punchline.
His sc*aaarrrr*f Edit: I get it guys, you all have better punchlines than me.
Soy milk. -Hola milk, soy tu padre. Edit: Removed the "es" that was bothering everyone
None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw. Edit: a word
Put it in the oven at three fifty tree fiddy until it's Bill Withers. Edit:summoning happened.
Edit: Whoops wrong sub.
Son says: "umm... With my eyes closed " Edit: This actually happened btw. Probably funnier irl.
I Excel at it." "Did you just make a Microsoft Office pun, sir " "Word." Edit: thanks u/SteveJobsiGhost
Edit: I'm so sorry.
Edit Thanks KikifounUnui... not my main language TT
Guaca**mole**y edit: how do I make it not say this joke is Dirty
Pho Kyuu EDIT: No one understands how to pronounce "Pho".;;
Core i3, i5, i7... ican't even! Edited from: >They can't even
I guess she is trans parent now Edit: *through
It's very selective. Edit. My first time making a joke. I know I can't make a joke. This is not directed at anyone.
It's going well I guess. It has its usps and it's downs. Edited for correctness
Quackers! **EDIT: Spelling**
Amburgers & Woot Beer! Edit: Thanks to my dad for this one.
Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window. EDIT: Damn it he was four
By holding the bulb up to the socket and waiting for the world to revolve around them EDIT: Rip inbox EDIT 2: Thanks for the gold!
Because the other fish were crying. Edit: *One of them dies.
Johnny", responds his dad, " I neither know nor care." Edit: granma grammar.
Clickbait. Edit: Added a space which triggered someone.
To ketchup Edit: I'm sorry
Toad. Thanks, HammerElectionBeans for the edit.
No eye-deer. EDIT: I totally messed this joke up. Please give me another chance with another joke
Nothing, you can't cross a vector by a scalar. EDIT: changed multiply to cross.
Cleaver! EDIT: Also Sharp, knew about this one but I like Cleaver better.
He never got no respec. *edited to make grammar worse
Because 5 was a Registered Six Offender. Edit: a word.
Vultures attack first, when you are dead.
You twist its knob. edit: grammar
Miraculous. Edited: tough crowd
RemindMe! 2 days to edit this post
Me, when I remember to floss once a month. Edit: account got hacked and showed something different. Sorry about that
Seizure salad. edit: fixed the word 'call'
They both need a *break* every once in a *while*. edit: this is a three-way pun btw - it works better out loud
Because if we could I would edit a tweet with 2,000 retweets to say "RT if you hate puppies and babies."
It doesn't matter how many. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw. Edit: Credits to Drougen for making it better.
Because he was always pinching things.
Zippity Bop, Puddin' pop!
Donald Duck.
Donald Tr- WRONG!
It was a Riposte.
Ten. One to change it and nine to downvote for no reason.
To remind them why there's no money in it
None. Their parents will do it for them.
Need to know ASAP.
You have Vladmir Putin a word for you.
"Nobody's perfect!"
FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON DRAGONBALL ZEEEEE! (I really hope this isn't a repost)
It's impossible, they only know how to turn to the left.
