What's the difference between a baby and a kilo of Coke?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a kilo fall out of a window

This joke may have profanity.
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What's the difference between a Twitter post and a Russian Novel?

A Twitter post is limited to 140 characters

What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?

You can spill your beer on a fiddle.

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How do you keep getting in here?

ZOO OFFICIAL: Wait. Let's hear him out.

Why are cats longer in the evening than they are in the morning?

Because they're let out in the evening and taken in in the morning!

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What is the captain of the starship enterprise's favorite drink?

Picardi and coke

Whats the saddest thing about global warming/iceberg melting?

Polar bears won't be able to keep their cokes cold.

Window Jokes More Window Jokes

Why do you think I spend too much time at my computer?

Well dear... Every time I ask you to close the windows you answer with "Please wait while your computer shuts down"...

What is it with people who text and drive?

I swear to god the next time I see this happen, I'll roll down my window and throw my beer at them.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What's worse than ten babies in one trash can?

One baby in ten trash cans.

When will my baby move?

With any luck, right after it finishes college.

Eric Clapton Jokes More Eric Clapton Jokes

What's the difference between a four-year-old and a bag of cocaine?

There's no way Eric Clapton would let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window!

What is the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler?

Eric Clapton won't let a bag of cocaine fall out of the window.