Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.
Oranges have thick skin. Let the downvotes fly, people! You've only got one! Edit: Did not expect this joke to get this good of a reception. Thanks, guys!
Two Wongs don't make a white
Nobody expected that late run from Gonzalez, did they?
They never expect a ring
Theeeeeeeeey Never expect the Spanish Inquisition!
He was expecting showers.
Wow, I did not expect this post to blow up
SINGLE
When the old one expects you to "do your share"
Pupil: I expect it's around Hadrian's garden miss!
Pupil: I did I shook my head Teacher: You don't expect me to hear it rattling from here do you!
Hilarious... My little sister told me this and I wasn't expecting it at all.:
How do you expect us to find you if you look like Beyonce on Facebook.
Irony irne/ noun a state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result.
To get to the other side. He then turned around, stuck up his middle finger and said, "Hah, you were all expecting a joke, and all you got was an Anthony joke!"
F-Well I know you, so I'm expecting very little. Mission accomplished.
A weapons designer for the First Order.
The Prostate exam isn't going he way you expected
He was expected on Tuesday, but he came on Wednesday.
Honestly.
I didn't expect this to blow up like it did!*
Banks
Lobster
Lobsters
I don't expect you to understand son, you are just a Cub
Those who understand binary, those who don't, and those who weren't expecting a base 3 joke.
None. The sockets all went with the house.
One. They stick the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them!
Data Remember
Arrrh, it's driving me nuts
Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.
See you next "fall".
Abort mission!
Me: "Your eyes dilate up to 45% when you look at something you love" Mom: "What were you looking at " Me: "Memes"
Sum sing wong
He says "wong"
Two. One to do it, a second to keep yelling, "You're lookin' BIG, man!"
One for the money, two for the show.
Their buns.
The punchline
Just planning ahead...
Ein stein. - From Big Nate, as told by my kid.
