Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.
Oranges have thick skin. Let the downvotes fly, people! You've only got one! Edit: Did not expect this joke to get this good of a reception. Thanks, guys!
Two Wongs don't make a white
Nobody expected that late run from Gonzalez, did they?
They never expect a ring
Theeeeeeeeey Never expect the Spanish Inquisition!
He was expecting showers.
Wow, I did not expect this post to blow up
SINGLE
When the old one expects you to "do your share"
Pupil: I expect it's around Hadrian's garden miss!
Pupil: I did I shook my head Teacher: You don't expect me to hear it rattling from here do you!
Hilarious... My little sister told me this and I wasn't expecting it at all.:
How do you expect us to find you if you look like Beyonce on Facebook.
Irony irne/ noun a state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result.
To get to the other side. He then turned around, stuck up his middle finger and said, "Hah, you were all expecting a joke, and all you got was an Anthony joke!"
F-Well I know you, so I'm expecting very little. Mission accomplished.
A weapons designer for the First Order.
The Prostate exam isn't going he way you expected
He was expected on Tuesday, but he came on Wednesday.
Honestly.
I didn't expect this to blow up like it did!*
Banks
Lobster
Lobsters
I don't expect you to understand son, you are just a Cub
Those who understand binary, those who don't, and those who weren't expecting a base 3 joke.
Three. One to post it, one to make a better punchline in the comments, and one to repost it the next day.
In-ya-window
Awwlllll!
They're never short of Sichuan musicians.
Lean beef What do you call a cow with no legs Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs Your mom
She kept wetting the bed.
Because people marvel at what's holding it up. And they wish it would fall.
Because he liked sole music!
The Amazing Racist.
Donald Tr- WRONG!
A Hun knee comb.
A radian. Math majors don't use degrees.
Hella.
Just two. One to explain to the public that everything possible is being done to solve the problem, and the other to screw the lightbulb into the water faucet.
You see, firetrucks have 4 wheels, can carry 8 men and 4+ 8 = 12. There are 12 inches in a ruler and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler. There was once a ship named Elizabeth that sailed the seas. Fish live in the seas and fish have fins. People from Finland are called Fins. Finland and Russia had a war a long time ago. Russia has red on its flag and that's why they're red. Cause they're always Russian around.
Iran
