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Why did the Addams have the late man arrested?

He was expected on Tuesday, but he came on Wednesday.

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What happened to you?

PATIENT:I am going to die in a minute. DOCTOR:wait I am coming with in five minutes.

Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN?

Because she didn't know which one came first!

Arrest Jokes More Arrest Jokes

Why did the insomniac get arrested?

He resisted a rest.

Why were the suspenders arrested?

For holding up a pair of pants.

Tuesday Jokes More Tuesday Jokes

What did the Los Angeles Lakers finish on Tuesday?

Kim Kardashian's face.

What do they call the Hunger Games in Africa?

Tuesday.

Expect Jokes More Expect Jokes

How do you estimate your kids lifespan?

Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.

Whats the best thing about dating a Cleveland Cavaliers fan?

They never expect a ring

Wednesday Jokes More Wednesday Jokes

How Do Priests Get High?

Snorting the left over ashes from Ash Wednesday...

Why was the virgins' wedding during the middle of the week?

Because Wednesday is hump day.

Late Man Jokes More Late Man Jokes

Why did the late man stand on the clock?

He wanted to be on time.

Why did the Addams have the late man arrested?

He was expected on Tuesday, but he came on Wednesday.