Tuesday Jokes

I am not funny and I need to be. I am writing a script for a short show that's formatted like "Weekend Update" on Saturday Night Live. So that means one sentence about the topic, and then one liner joke. Thank you all!

What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?

They go on peck-nics!

Hunger Games Jokes More Hunger Games Jokes

What do they call the Hunger Games in France?

Battle Royale with Cheese.

What do they call the Hunger Games in Japan?

Battle Royale with cheese

Yogurt Jokes More Yogurt Jokes

What's the difference between America any yogurt?

If you leave yogurt alone for 300 years, it develops a culture.

What's the difference between America and a yogurt?

After 200 years a yogurt will develop a culture.

Sunday Jokes More Sunday Jokes

How do you get out of Sunday school?

You tell your mom you're Sikh.

Why did Clemson choose orange as its team color?

So they could play football on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up garbage the rest of the week.

Tuesday Jokes

What is a lesbians favorite day of the week?

Love

What do they call the Hunger Games in Africa?

What's the difference between GTA V Online and a non-essential government employee?

How flexible are you?

Why Don't You Lick Me Like That?

When's ladies' night at the Mexican restaurant?

Why did the Addams have the late man arrested?

What do you call Call Of Duty in the middle east?

What's the worst thing about Fridays?

What do they call Counter-Strike in the Middle East?

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What do a yoga instructor and a Mexican restaurant that only serves water have in common?

What did Johnny Cash say to the waitress after he got sick at a Mexican restaurant?

What do you call a pig who's been arrested for dangerous driving?

Why was he woman arrested on a cattle ranch for wearing a silk dress?

Why do androids go to Africa to party?

What do you call poppies from eastern Africa?

Why does beer go faster through you than milk?

Why do sharks hate clowns?