Mexican Jokes

What car does a Mexican drive?

A Quebrolet.

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What music do they play in a mexican bathroom?

Earth wind and fire

How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb in Texas?

They can't. There's a wall.

What do the cristae of the mitochondria and the Mexican border have in common?

Depending what you're charged with can really effect how easily you're getting across.

What do you call a place where Mexicans go to the bathroom?

A deport-a-potty.

What's a Mexican's favorite sport?

Cross Country.

What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?

Roberto

What do you call four Mexicans working in a restroom?

Cuatro Sinko

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball against each other?

Juan v Juan

How do you tell when the Chinese move to town?

When the Mexicans get car insurance.

Why did the Mexican throw his wife over the cliff?

Tequila

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What do you call an average Mexican?

Nacho average guy

How do you give a time-out to a Mexican child?

Have him stand against a wall.

What does the octopus order at the local Mexican restaurant?

Ten tacos

Which 3 words will make a mexican tremble in fear?

Round of 16

Why did the Mexican jump the border?

To get back to Mexico

What do you call a Mexican wrestler that only fights during his 12:00 break?

A lunchador.

Why'd the Mexican guy have to take xanax?

Because of hispanic attacks..

What do you call your Mexican friend living in Oklahoma?

Your Oklahomie.

Why were mexicans celebrating at a stop sign?

They saw it as a sign to pare.

How do you call a Mexican who lost his car?

Carlos.

How do they count the Mexican immigrants?

They start with Juan

How can you tell you live in an Asian part of town?

All the Mexicans have car insurance.

Why didn't the Mexican go now hunting?

Because he didn't habanero.

Why did the fishing boat captain hire an all Mexican crew?

Because in the interview they answered every question with "sea senor"

Why didn't the Mexican guy at work take out the trash at work when I asked him?

He had -ity!

Why are the cops shooting so many black men?

There's plenty of Mexicans to shoot too. Yeah I'm going to hell for that one.

Why was the Mexican bad at archery?

He didn't habanero

What do you call a Mexican with small muscles?

No whey Jos.

What's a Mexican's favorite breakfast cereal?

Tacos.

What's a Mexican's favourite video game?

Borderlands.

How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Juan (This probably has been posted earlier but is still funny)

Why do you not play Uno with Mexicans?

Cuz they take all the green cards

Why did the mexican girl get pregnant?

Because her teacher told her to do an essay

What do you call Harper Lee's Mexican flying animal?

Tequila Mockingbird.

How do Mexicans cut their pizza?

Little Caesars

What do you call a can made in Mexico?

A Mexican.

How do you take a Mexican family portrait?

Put them in the back of a truck and run a red light.

What do you call a Mexican skeleton's favorite drug?

Marrow-Juan-a.

What do you call a Mexican baptism?

Bean dip!

Why did the drunk Mexican shoot his wife?

Tequilher

Why do Mexican cars have such small steering wheels?

So they can be driven while handcuffed.

How are E.T. and a Mexican immigrant the same?

They both steal your bike.

What did the Mexican do when he arrived in America?

Removed

What's the difference between a book and a Mexican?

A book has papers.

How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to pay a Mexican to do it, two to deport him afterwards.

What is a Mexican's favorite FPS?

Borderlands.

What did the Mexican gang member say when two large houses fell on him during an earthquake?

Get off me, homes.

Why are Mexicans so nosy?

Because they're jalapeo business.

What is a Mexicans closing sales pitch?

Kay-so-deal-a?

What is the advantage that Mexican workers have over everyone else?

Their "Senor"ity!

What do you call four drowning Mexicans?

Cuatro cinco

Why cant Mexicans smoke joints?

They aint ever got any papers

Who says building a border wall wont work?

The Chinese built one over 2,000 years ago and they still dont have any Mexicans.

Why were there 5 Mexicans in a Ford?

It was a Fiesta

What do you call a Mexican on a riding lawnmower?

Promoted.

What do you call 4 Mexicans in quick sand?

Cuatro cinco

What's black, white, asian, and mexican?

A lazy panda.

What was the Mexican owl's name?

Whoooolio.

What did the Mexican Plumber call his second son?

Hose B

What do you call 4 Mexicans in quicksand?

Quatro cinco

How long does it take a group of Mexicans to build a building?

Oh look, they're done.

What do you call a Mexican that had his car stolen?

Carloss

What do you call a crazy Mexican dog?

Perronoid

Why aren't there any mexicans in Star Trek?

They don't work in the future either.

What do you call a Mexican rolling in sand?

A churro.

What did the Mexican say when his house collapsed on him?

Hey, get off me homes!

What do a yoga instructor and a Mexican restaurant that only serves water have in common?

No ms te!

What does a stoner order at a mexican restaurant?

Carne asuuuuhhduuh

What's the difference between a black joke and Mexican joke?

Nothing. If you've heard Juan you've heard Jamal.

What do you call a Mexican spell caster?

A salsarer

What do you call a Mexican fighting a Catholic priest?

Alien vs. Predator

Why can't you play Uno with Mexicans?

They steal the green cards.

What does an obese white woman have in common with a brick?

Eventually, they're both getting laid by a Mexican.

What's the difference between Mexicans and Jesus?

Jesus didn't have tattoos of Mexicans all over body

How many Mexican reposters does it take to make me mad?

Just Juan

What do you call 10 Mexican kids in a school?

A construction site

How do Mexicans greet Dr. Seuss?

Jesus!

What do you call a Mexican drowning in a vat of cheese?

Nacho problem.

What do you throw a drowning Mexican?

His wife and kids.

Why did the Mexican civil war last so long?

Because they were fighting Juan on Juan.

What do you call a shooting at a Mexican golf course?

A hole in Juan

What do you call a Mexican midget?

A paragraph, because he is not a full essay.

How can you tell when the Mexicans have moved into your neighborhood?

The Blacks get car insurance.

Why aren't there any Mexicans in China?

Because the Chinese know how to build a wall.

What do you call Mexicans living in the USA?

Illegal aliens.

Why does Mexjco do poorly in the olympics?

Because all the Mexicans who can run fast, swim fast and jump high are in the states.

How does the Mexican national anthem start?

Jose can you see.....

What do you call a bodybuilding Mexican who's run out of protein?

No whey Jose.

What do you call a Mexican detective?

Sherlock, homes

Why didn't the Mexican take Xanax?

He was barred.

What do you call a half Mexican half Japanese jedi master?

Obi Juan Shinobi

What do you call it when a car full of Mexicans catches fire?

Baked beans

Why shouldn't you run over a mexican kid on a bike?

Because it might be your bike.

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just Juan.

Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?

TUH KEELLUHHH!!!

What's the difference between a Mexican and a computer?

You only have to punch the information into a computer once.

Whats the closest a Mexican will ever be to happiness?

The border.

What do you call a Mexican fighting a priest?

Alien vs. Predator

Why did the young Mexican solve the problem so easily?

It was a no buena My girlfriend is Mexican so I love Mexican jokes. Let me know if you have one!

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Cover Jokes More Cover Jokes

How do you cover 18 holes with one hole?

Have your mom sit down on a golf course.

What did the Japanese Journey covers band sing at the funeral?

Don't stop, bereaving!

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

When someone asks "You know what I think?

I say "Yes I do". End of discussion.

Did you know you should always take an extra pair of pants golfing?

Just in case you get a hole in one.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between the foundation of a building and the average Redittor?

The foundation's been laid.

What's the difference between toilet paper and shower curtains?

If you answered "I don't know." I would like to tell you that I spent all day cleaning that mess up.

German Jokes More German Jokes

What do you call a German with no good inside?

Guten free.

Why so the French line their streets with trees?

So the Germans can march in the shade

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Who, Jesus?

No, dummy. Superman.

What is Jesus' favorite band?

Nine Inch Nails

Hurry Jokes More Hurry Jokes

What's the hurry?

Me: Nothing officer - Just didn't want to slow you down. Cop: I was pulling you over. Me: Well I get that. Now.

What was the hurry?

There was nothing to do back then.

Jump Jokes More Jump Jokes

Why did the fish jump out of the water?

Because he was hooked on worms.

Why do scuba-divers jump backwards into the water?

Because if they jumped forwards they'd still be in the boat.

Alley Jokes More Alley Jokes

What travels down an alley and has holes in it?

A bowling ball. Or Bruce Wayne's parents.

What's the name of the Iraqi basketball team?

Alley-oop Akbar