Mexican Jokes

What car does a Mexican drive?

A Quebrolet.

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What music do they play in a Mexican bathroom?

Earth wind and fire

What do the cristae of the mitochondria and the Mexican border have in common?

Depending what you're charged with can really effect how easily you're getting across.

What's a Mexican's favorite sport?

Cross Country.

What does the octopus order at the local Mexican restaurant?

Ten tacos

Which 3 words will make a Mexican tremble in fear?

Round of 16

What do you call a Mexican wrestler that only fights during his 12:00 break?

A lunchador.

What do you call your Mexican friend living in Oklahoma?

Your Oklahomie.

How do you call a Mexican who lost his car?

Carlos.

How do they count the Mexican immigrants?

They start with Juan

Why didn't the Mexican go now hunting?

Because he didn't habanero.

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Why did the fishing boat captain hire an all Mexican crew?

Because in the interview they answered every question with "sea senor"

Why was the Mexican bad at archery?

He didn't habanero

Why did the Mexican girl get pregnant?

Because her teacher told her to do an essay

What do you call Harper Lee's Mexican flying animal?

Tequila Mockingbird.

How do Mexicans cut their pizza?

Little Caesars

What do you call a can made in Mexico?

A Mexican.

What did the Mexican do when he arrived in America?

Removed

What is a Mexican's favorite FPS?

Borderlands.

What did the Mexican gang member say when two large houses fell on him during an earthquake?

Get off me, homes.

What is a Mexicans closing sales pitch?

Kay-so-deal-a?

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What is the advantage that Mexican workers have over everyone else?

Their "Senor"ity!

What do you call 4 Mexicans in quick sand?

Cuatro cinco

What was the Mexican owl's name?

Whoooolio.

What do you call 4 Mexicans in quicksand?

Quatro cinco

What do you call a Mexican that had his car stolen?

Carloss

What do you call a Mexican rolling in sand?

A churro.

What did the Mexican say when his house collapsed on him?

Hey, get off me homes!

What does a stoner order at a Mexican restaurant?

Carne asuuuuhhduuh

What's the difference between Mexicans and Jesus?

Jesus didn't have tattoos of Mexicans all over body

What do you throw a drowning Mexican?

His wife and kids.

What do you call a Mexican detective?

Sherlock, homes

Why didn't the Mexican take Xanax?

He was barred.

What do you call a half Mexican half Japanese jedi master?

Obi Juan Shinobi

Why was Jesus not Mexican?

No matter how hard God looked, he could not find three wise men or a virgin anywhere in Mexico

How can you ask a Mexican if their zodiac sign is leo?

Julio

What did the Mexican fire chief name his two sons?

Jose and Hose "B."

What do a cue ball and a Mexican have in common?

The harder you hit them, the more English you get out of them.

What did the Mexican say when two houses fell on him?

Get off me homes.

Why hasn't there been a Mexican Disney Princess?

Because everyone would just think it's a quinceaera

What does a Mexican duck say?

GUACK

What is another name for a pregnant Mexican dog?

A puppy piata

What's a Mexican sound technician's favorite cereal?

AudiO's

What do you call a fight between a Mexican and Jared Fogle?

Alien vs Predator.

What are a Mexican's favorite dimensions for square dancing?

Dos y dos

What car transmission do Mexicans use?

Manuel.

How do Mexican dogs say "hello" when in Japan?

Konnichihuahua

Which video game do Mexicans play the most?

Borderlands

How Do Mexicans Play Basketball?

Juan on Juan.

Where do Mexicans get their car parts?

From Vato Zone

Why couldn't the Mexican work a wrench?

I don't know. Torqu?

Why did the Mexican push his wife off the building?

Te-quil-a

What do Mexicans drink in the morning?

Dos Eggys

What do you get when you mix an octopus and a Mexican?

I don't know, but it sure can wash a lot of dishes.

What happened to the Mexican after he took heroin for the third time?

He over 'd

Where do the Mexican truckers hang out?

The guay station.

What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons?

Jos and Josb

What's the difference between a Mexican and a notebook?

A notebook has papers.

What do you call a Mexican Standoff between two people?

Juan vs. Juan

What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons?

Hose A and Hose B

What do Mexicans use to cut their pizza?

Little Caesars.

What is a Mexican's favorite Queen song?

I Juan to break free

How many Mexican clowns can you fit in a car?

No, seriously. Cuz I bet it's a lot

What did the Mexican say when his roof fell on him?

Get off me Holmes!

What do you call a Mexican firefighter?

Jos

How does a Mexican cut their pizza?

Little Caesars

What do Mexican jokes have in common with black jokes?

Once you know Juan, you know Jamal

How do you start a Mexican bedtime story?

Juans upon a time.

What did the black man say to the Mexican?

Hey. Watermelawn.

Why did the Mexican put hot sauce on his taco?

Por flavor

What do you call a Mexican ready-meal?

Dinner for Juan

What's the difference between a Mexican and a park Bench?

The bench can support a family.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench?

The bench can support a family of four.

What do Mexican midgets use to cut pizza?

Little Caesars

What did the Mexican fireman name his children?

Jose and Hose B

How do you pick up Mexican Girls?

Border Patrol.

What happens when you get more than you payed for with a Mexican Gigolo?

The second coming of Jess.

How does a Mexican wrestler enter a room?

Through the Lucha-door.

What does a Mexican use to cut pizza with?

Little Caesars!

How do Mexicans cut their pizzas?

With Little Caesars

What game do they play at Mexican carnivals?

Guaca-mole!

What did the Mexican say when the house fell on him?

Ayyyy watch it homes!

Why was the Mexican called a paragraph?

Because he was to short to be called an essay

What makes a Mexican saddest about the rise of ebooks?

The closing of the Borders.

What is the difference between a Mexican and a book?

A book has papers.

What does a Mexican Morpheus say?

Neo, you are the Juan... I'll show myself the door...

What is a Mexican's favourite sport?

Cross-Country Running

What's the Mexican version of the Klan?

Qu Qu Qu

What did the Mexican student write his essay about?

Life outside of prison.

Why did the Mexican food go to counseling?

He wanted to taco bout his problems

What do Mexicans write in school?

Essays.

What is the coldest dish at a Mexican restaurant?

A b-r-r-r-r-ito

What anime do Mexicans watch?

Boku no Pico de Gallo

What do you call a Mexican Jedi?

Obi-Juan

How do tiny Mexicans cut their pizza?

Little Ceasars

What is a Mexicans Favorite book?

TE-QUILA MOCKINGBIRD!

What do you call a Mexican knight?

The Chosen Juan.

Why is there no Mexican Olympics?

Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim is already across the boarder

Why did the man hire a Mexican gardener?

Because he was good at pulling weed

What were the Mexican crisps doing in the locked conference room?

It's nacho business!

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Fill in the blank or answer the question.

How did the alien tie his shoes?

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What does he say at baptism?

Another Juan

How do you start a Mexican bedtime story?

Juans upon a time.

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What's the difference between a jar of mayonnaise and France?

If you leave the jar alone for 200 years it'll develop a culture.

What do they call the Hunger Games in France?

Battle Royale with Cheese.

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What do parliament and Ukrainian skies have in common?

They're both raining bodies

Why did the Face of Bo go to the party by himself?

Because he had no body to go with.

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How do you know if someone doesn't like Football and isn't going to watch the Super Bowl?

They'll tell you

How British is Adele?

She would call you at least 1000 times to tell how sorry she is.

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What's a bigger problem, ignorance or apathy?

I don't know and i don't care.

What do you think is the biggest problem in Germany?

Uncertainty or indifference ' He answered: I don't know and I don't care!'

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What does a cow use to solve math problems?

A *cow*culater. I made it up myself, so don't groan at the pun.

Why did the detective go to the apartment complex?

So he could solve the staircase.

Swim Jokes More Swim Jokes

What's the difference between an accident and a catastrophe?

It's an accident if a boat full of refugees starts to take in water. A catastrophe is if they know how to swim

Why did a gambler scare everyone out swimming?

He was a card shark!