Mexican Jokes

What do you call a Mexican cutting a Mobius Strip??

Juan.

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How do you pick up Mexican Girls?

Border Patrol.

What happens when you get more than you payed for with a Mexican Gigolo?

The second coming of Jess.

How does a Mexican wrestler enter a room?

Through the Lucha-door.

What do you get when you mix a Mexican with an octopus?

I dont know, but it sure as hell can pick apples.

What does a Mexican use to cut pizza with?

Little Caesars!

What's a Mexican pimp's favorite investment?

A putable bond

What's the motto of the Mexican army?

An Army of Juan

How do Mexicans cut their pizzas?

With Little Caesars

What is a Mexican bodybuilder's favorite supplement?

Gey protein.

What piece of bedding can also be known as a Mexican blanket?

The underlay! underlay!

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What game do they play at Mexican carnivals?

Guaca-mole!

What did the Mexican say when the house fell on him?

Ayyyy watch it homes!

Why was the Mexican called a paragraph?

Because he was to short to be called an essay

What did one Mexican say to the other Mexican?

It's four-twenty Juan!

What makes a Mexican saddest about the rise of ebooks?

The closing of the Borders.

What is the difference between a Mexican and a book?

A book has papers.

What does a Mexican Morpheus say?

Neo, you are the Juan... I'll show myself the door...

What is a Mexican's favourite sport?

Cross-Country Running

What's the Mexican version of the Klan?

Qu Qu Qu

What did the Mexican student write his essay about?

Life outside of prison.

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Why did the Mexican food go to counseling?

He wanted to taco bout his problems

What do Mexicans write in school?

Essays.

What is the coldest dish at a Mexican restaurant?

A b-r-r-r-r-ito

What anime do Mexicans watch?

Boku no Pico de Gallo

What does a Mexican magician use?

A magic Juan

What do you call a Mexican Jedi?

Obi-Juan

How do tiny Mexicans cut their pizza?

Little Ceasars

What is a Mexicans Favorite book?

TE-QUILA MOCKINGBIRD!

What do you call a Mexican knight?

The Chosen Juan.

Why is there no Mexican Olympics?

Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim is already across the boarder

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Why did the man hire a Mexican gardener?

Because he was good at pulling weed

What were the Mexican crisps doing in the locked conference room?

It's nacho business!

What would Harper Lee's book be called if he was Mexican?

Tequila Mockingbird.

What do Mexicans put under their carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

Where do Mexicans shop for books?

Borders

Why did a Mexican girl get pregnant?

She was told to do an essay in school.

What's the same about Mexican and Black people?

Once you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal. (Sorry if you're offended, I love all races.)

Why did the 16 year old Mexican girl get pregnant?

Her teacher told her to go home and do an essay.

How many Mexicans does it take to fix a light bulb?

Twenty-Juan

What do Mexicans use to slice pizza?

Little Caesers

Why did the Mexicans only bring 5000 people to the Alamo?

They only had two vans

What does a Mexican cop say when he wishes you a Merry Christmas?

Police Navidad.

Why aren't their Mexican Olympics?

Because all of the Mexicans that can run,jump,and swim are in America!

What does a Mexican cut a pizza with?

Little ceasars!!! (Scissors)

Who was the first Mexican to be knighted by the Queen?

Sir Veza

What does a Mexican wizard use to cast magic?

A Juand

What did Davy Crockett say when he looked over The Alamo wall and saw 5,000 Mexican Soldiers?

Who the hell ordered a new roof?

What is the Mexicans favorite credit card company?

Capital Juan

What's a Mexicans favorite protein?

Whey

What made the New Mexican sad?

He was out of meth.

What does a burning Mexican farm smell like?

Tacos. Overheard an old man telling another guy how he lost his farm in Mexico, and how the smell reminded him of tacos.

What do you call the things on the end of Winnie the Pooh's feet?

Putos (Ask your Mexican friend)

What do you get when you cross a pyrotechnician and Mexican food?

Explosive Diarrhea

What did the Mexican firefighter name his sons?

Jose and Hose B

What does Mexican binary code consist of?

Zeros and Juans.

What's the worst thing about Mexican and Black jokes?

Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.

What do a three paragraph term paper and a 5'2" Mexican have in common?

They're both short essays.

What did the Mexican firefighter call his son??

Jose

What's a magician's favorite Mexican dish?

TosTADA!

How do Mexicans cut pizza?

Little Caesars (say it out loud)

What did the stuttering Mexican say to his friend when he tried to steal his food?

These are nacho-nachos.

What did the bottle of milk say to the Mexican?

Soy milk.

What do you call two Mexicans playing volleyball?

Juan on Juan

What did a confused Mexican alphabet say?

What does a Mexican Highlander say?

THERE CAN BE ONLY JUAN!

What did the Mexican detective say in England?

I'm like Sherlock, holmes.

What is the only olympic sport that Mexicans can compete in?

Bordercross

What did the Mexican firefighter call his two sons?

Jos and Hose-B

How did the Mexican greet people in Hawaii?

Ahola.

What's the difference between a tea cup and pea cup?

A teacup is what the British drink out of and a pea cup is what the Mexicans drive.

Why did the Mexican army attack the Alamo with only 2000 soldiers?

They only had one pickup

What do you call an environmentally-conscious Mexican?

A Green Bean

How does a Mexican build a house?

Juan nail at a time.

What do you call a Mexican protein?

Amigo Acid

Why did the 14 year old Mexican girl end up pregnant?

Because her teacher told her to go do an essay.

What do you call the Mexican version of the NSA?

Jalapeno Business...........

What'd the Mexican say when he was upset?

I don't want to taco bout it.

How do Mexican peanuts tell time?

Cacawatches

What's more illegal than marijuana?

My Mexican neighbor

What did the Mexican put under his carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

Why did the Mexican try to wear his taco?

He was dyslexic.

What's the first place Dora explored?

The Mexican border.

Why were there 600 Mexicans at the Alamo?

They only had 2 cars.

What did Jesus say to the Mexicans?

Don't do anything until I get back

Why are there no Mexican in the Olympics?

Because any Mexican that can run, jump or swim is in america!

What's a Mexican's favorite candy bar?

A payday

Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at The Alamo?

They only had 4 cars.

How can you tell if a Mexican is feeling sad?

They're wearing a SOMBERERO

Why did the Mexican school girl get pregnant?

Here teacher said to go home and do her "essay".

What did the Mexican say with one sleeve rolled up and one sleeve not?

Not even, homes

Why don't Mexicans have BBQs?

Because the beans keep falling through the grill.

What did the Mexican boy say to his mom after he mopped the floors and found his brother?

I've cleaned up and found Jesus.

What did the Mexican Firefighter name his two children?

Jose and Hose B

What did the Mexican say when a development fell on him?

Yo get off me, homes!

What did the Mexican get on his SAT's?

Taco crumbs

What do you call a Mexican Buddhist?

Om-bre

What is a Mexican's favorite bookstore?

Borders

What Is The Best Boxing A Mexican Does?

Oranges.

What are the first 3 words in every authentic Mexican recipe?

Steal a chicken

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Why did the plane crash into the ocean?

The pilot was a loaf of bread

Why did the ocean take a bath?

It had a sandy bottom.

France Jokes More France Jokes

What's a barista in France's favorite workout?

A French press

What do they call Independence Day in France?

A Royale-free with cheese! (Happy Bastille Day(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BastilleDay)!)

Tattoo Jokes More Tattoo Jokes

Why can you only date girls named Ana?

Because I got a tattoo that says Ana

What do you call a pretty lady on the arm of a drummer?

A Tattoo.

German Jokes More German Jokes

Which country has the nicest children?

Germany. German children are kinder.

What did the German baker say to greet his customers?

Gluten tag!

Asian Jokes More Asian Jokes

Why did the Asian man get arrested for stealing a Buick sedan?

It was a Regal

What's an Asian's favorite time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty

Juan Jokes More Juan Jokes

What did the American Army General say after the first opposing casualty in the Mexican-American War?

Juan down, a million more to go.

What do you call a fight in Mexico?

A Juan on Juan.

Olympic Jokes More Olympic Jokes

Why couldn't the American fly home from Russia after the Olympics?

Because he was Snow'den.

Why isnt suntanning an Olympic sport?

Because the best you can get is bronze.