Mexican Jokes

What would Harper Lee's book be called if he was Mexican?

Tequila Mockingbird.

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Why did a Mexican girl get pregnant?

She was told to do an essay in school.

What's the same about Mexican and Black people?

Once you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal. (Sorry if you're offended, I love all races.)

Why did the 16 year old Mexican girl get pregnant?

Her teacher told her to go home and do an essay.

How many Mexicans does it take to fix a light bulb?

Twenty-Juan

What do Mexicans use to slice pizza?

Little Caesers

Why did the Mexicans only bring 5000 people to the Alamo?

They only had two vans

What does a Mexican cop say when he wishes you a Merry Christmas?

Police Navidad.

Why aren't their Mexican Olympics?

Because all of the Mexicans that can run,jump,and swim are in America!

What does a Mexican cut a pizza with?

Little ceasars!!! (Scissors)

Who was the first Mexican to be knighted by the Queen?

Sir Veza

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What does a Mexican wizard use to cast magic?

A Juand

What is the Mexicans favorite credit card company?

Capital Juan

What's a Mexicans favorite protein?

Whey

What made the New Mexican sad?

He was out of meth.

What does a burning Mexican farm smell like?

Tacos. Overheard an old man telling another guy how he lost his farm in Mexico, and how the smell reminded him of tacos.

What do you call the things on the end of Winnie the Pooh's feet?

Putos (Ask your Mexican friend)

What do you get when you cross a pyrotechnician and Mexican food?

Explosive Diarrhea

What did the Mexican firefighter name his sons?

Jose and Hose B

What does Mexican binary code consist of?

Zeros and Juans.

What's the worst thing about Mexican and Black jokes?

Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.

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What do a three paragraph term paper and a 5'2" Mexican have in common?

They're both short essays.

What did the Mexican firefighter call his son??

Jose

What's a magician's favorite Mexican dish?

TosTADA!

How do Mexicans cut pizza?

Little Caesars (say it out loud)

What did the bottle of milk say to the Mexican?

Soy milk.

What did a confused Mexican alphabet say?

What did the Mexican firefighter call his two sons?

Jos and Hose-B

How did the Mexican greet people in Hawaii?

Ahola.

What's the difference between a tea cup and pea cup?

A teacup is what the British drink out of and a pea cup is what the Mexicans drive.

What do you call an environmentally-conscious Mexican?

A Green Bean

How does a Mexican build a house?

Juan nail at a time.

What do you call a Mexican protein?

Amigo Acid

Why did the 14 year old Mexican girl end up pregnant?

Because her teacher told her to go do an essay.

What do you call the Mexican version of the NSA?

Jalapeno Business...........

What'd the Mexican say when he was upset?

I don't want to taco bout it.

How do Mexican peanuts tell time?

Cacawatches

What's more illegal than marijuana?

My Mexican neighbor

What did the Mexican put under his carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

Why were there 600 Mexicans at the Alamo?

They only had 2 cars.

Why are there no Mexican in the Olympics?

Because any Mexican that can run, jump or swim is in america!

What's a Mexican's favorite candy bar?

A payday

Why did the Mexican school girl get pregnant?

Here teacher said to go home and do her "essay".

What did the Mexican say with one sleeve rolled up and one sleeve not?

Not even, homes

Why don't Mexicans have BBQs?

Because the beans keep falling through the grill.

What did the Mexican boy say to his mom after he mopped the floors and found his brother?

I've cleaned up and found Jesus.

What did the Mexican Firefighter name his two children?

Jose and Hose B

What do you call a Mexican Buddhist?

Om-bre

What is a Mexican's favorite bookstore?

Borders

What did David Crockett say when he looked over the Alamo wall and saw 3000 Mexicans?

Hey I didn't know we were pouring concrete today.

What do you call... What do you call four Mexicans standing in quicksand?

Cuatros Cincos

What's the funniest type of Mexican food?

Fajitahahahas

Which dessert did Darth Vader order in the Mexican restaurant?

Helado oscuro!

What do you get when a Mexican and Muslim have a child?

A kid who loves halalpenos

What did the Mexican shopkeeper say to the thief?

That's Nachos.

Why don't Mexicans have barbeques?

The beans keep slipping through the grill.

What do you call it when the women in the back of a Mexican brothel talk after working all night?

Whorechata. Probably my best original, lemme know what you think.

What do you kiss on a Mexican dish that will trigger the end of the world?

El Taco Lips.

How do Mexicans keep their food warm?

Chicken Fajitas.

What kind of flooring does a Mexican fit?

Underlay! Underlay!

What do Mexicans use with the Wii-U?

Amiigo

What do you call five Mexicans drowning at the bottom of their pool?

Cinco.

What did the Mexican fire chief call his two sons?

Jose and josB (Hose A &amp Hose B)

How do Mexicans warm their houses in the winter months?

Central Fajiting.

What do you call a Mexican carpet fitter?

Underlay underlay

Why do Mexicans make burritos?

So they can unwrap something for Christmas!

Why do Mexican students act like they own the school?

Because there mom cleans it and there dad fixed the roof

What do you call two Mexican firefighters?

Hose A and Hose B.

When's ladies' night at the Mexican restaurant?

Taco Tuesday

What did the Mexican say when his homework flew out the window?

Where you going essay!

What do you call a Mexican Aunt?

A tor-tia.

Why did 5000 Mexicans show up to fight at the Alamo?

They only had two cars.

What did they call the Mexican cleaning robot?

Aye CaRoomba

Why was the Mexican tire sad?

Because it was despair

Why shouldn't you throw a rock at a Mexican riding a bike?

Because that might be your bike

What did the American Army General say after the first opposing casualty in the Mexican-American War?

Juan down, a million more to go.

What did the Mexican guy get for Christmas?

His verdict.

What do you call two Mexicans playing tennis?

Juan on Juan.

Why don't Mexicans have BBQ s?

Because beans always fall through the grill.

What do you call Mexican potato chips?

Oles Potato Chips!

What's a cats favorite Mexican dish?

A purr-rito

What does a Mexican magician make for breakfast?

Toast-tah-dahs!

What does a Mexican carpet fitter say to motivate his colleagues?

Underlay! Underlay!

What does the Mexican kid say as his homework flys out of the window?

Ayyee essay, where are you going

What do you call a Mexican boxing match?

Juan v Juan

What do you call four Mexicans that have drowned?

Cuatro Cinco.

Where does a Mexican store his food?

Hispantry

Why isn't there many Mexicans in Europe?

BeCause it's to cold, long a swim

What do 12 year old Mexican girls and born-again christians have in common?

They both have a little Jesus in 'em...

What do Mexicans cut their pizza with?

I asked, "What " He said, "Little Caesars!"

Why were there only 40,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?

They only had 2 trucks

What do you call a Mexican who's car got stolen?

Carlos.

How many Mexicans do you need to change a Lightbulb?

Juan.

What do you call a street on the Mexican border?

Wall Street

What's the name of the tree that gives Mexicans?

The scaffolding

What did the Mexican firefighter name his two kids?

Jose and Hose-B

What's a Mexican midget barbers favorite restaurant?

Little Cesar's

Why did the Mexican lorry driver lose his job?

He ate his tacho.

What do Mexicans say when they're cold?

BRRRRRRRRiba!

What is a Mexicans favourite sport?

Cross-Country

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Jump Jokes More Jump Jokes

Whats green and can jump a mile a minute?

A frog with hiccups!

What happens when a cow jumps over barbed wire?

Udder destruction!

Moon Jokes More Moon Jokes

Why haven't they sent a woman to the moon yet?

It doesn't need cleaning.

What happens when you find bones on the moon?

The cow didn't make it.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller?

Curses! Foil again!

Why do pigs run from medicine?

They hate getting cured.

America Jokes More America Jokes

Why are there no knock knock jokes about the United States?

Because in America, freedom rings.

Why is North Korea going fail against America?

They lack the element of supplies

France Jokes More France Jokes

Why do you only need one egg in France?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

What did France say to Turkey?

That's not nice.

Solution Jokes More Solution Jokes

Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?

So we can think about a solution in silence

Why when you spill red wine on a carpet do you take the stain out with white wine?

Because more alcohol is the solution to all problems.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between Jesus and a painting?

You only need a nail to hang a painting.

What's the difference between juice and cider?

I can't go deep in juice.

Asian Person Jokes More Asian Person Jokes