France Jokes

What could have been the most stuppidest result of Napolleonic wars if France won?

Tsar Napoleon.

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What's a barista in France's favorite workout?

A French press

How do you know the toothbrush was made in France?

Anywhere else it would've been the "teethbrush"

What do you get when you throw a grenade into a kitchen in France?

Linoleum blown apart

What do you get when you cross France and Britain?

Canada.

Why should you never order the eggs while in France?

Because they are always uf.

Who is the most famous cow in France?

Albert Camoo

Why do the French make omelettes with only one egg?

Because in France one egg is un oeuf.

Why is their always lightning in France?

Obviously, since lightning takes the path of least resistance.

What do they call Miley Cyrus in France?

Kilometrey Cyrus.

What do they call the Hunger Games in France?

Battle Royale with Cheese.

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Why do most French recipes require only one egg?

In France, one egg is *un oeuf*

How do you know if you've fallen in love with an apple from France?

Your heart goes "pomme pomme... pomme pomme..."

What is the bounciest place in France?

The dordogne.

What did France say to Turkey?

That's not nice.

Who ruled France until he exploded?

Napoleon Blownapart!

How many eggs do the French use in their omelettes?

Just one, because in France one egg is un oeuf.

Why do you only need one egg in France?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

How do we know that Joan of Arc was French?

She was maid in France!

What is a Pokemon's favourite place to go in France?

Paras

Where do you find 60 million French jokes?

In France.

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What do you get when you throw a hand grenade into a bathroom in France?

Linoleum Blownapart

What's the difference between a jar of mayonnaise and France?

If you leave the jar alone for 200 years it'll develop a culture.

Why are the streets of France lined with trees?

So the Germans can march in the shade.

What do they call Independence Day in France?

A Royale-free with cheese! (Happy Bastille Day(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BastilleDay)!)

What street in France do reindeer live on?

Rue Dolph

Did you know the first French fries weren't cooked in France?

They were cooked in Greece

Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?

There was nothing left but de Brie.

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Italy Jokes More Italy Jokes

What are the rough parts of Italy called?

The spaghetto.

What do you call a sketchy place in Italy?

The "spaghetto"

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

How many vegetables should you pull out of the ground in one day?

None

How do people see so much on internet these days?

They put on the Google!

Napoleon Jokes More Napoleon Jokes

What is the difference between Napoleon and his son?

One is a Bonaparte from the other.

Where does Napoleon keep his armies?

In his sleevies

Surrender Jokes More Surrender Jokes

What does surrender mean?

I said, "I give up."

What's the famous Confederacy battle cry?

We Surrender!

Path Jokes More Path Jokes

Why did Moses part his hair?

To make a path for the Israelice.

What did the Pope say when a cougar crossed his path?

Oh my gosh I almost Puma pants.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What is the most popular vehicle in South America?

They drive alpacars.

What did the pirate say after he pulled a steering wheel out of his pants?

It's driving me nuts!

Avenue Jokes More Avenue Jokes

Which street does the police officer live in?

Let's be Avenue

German Soldier Jokes More German Soldier Jokes

Why are Paris's streets lined with trees?

German soldiers like to march in the shade.