How did Charlie Sheen contract HIV?

By banging 7-gram rocks.

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Whats blue and bangs old ladies?

Me in my lucky blue coat.

What's the best part about banging Jessica Alba?

You'll know if she was faking it.

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Who's the best person to invite over for Christmas?

Charlie Sheen. Because you know it's GUARANTEED to be a white Christmas when he's around.

How long does Charlie Sheen last in bed?

Two and a half minutes.