How did Charlie Sheen contract HIV?

By banging 7-gram rocks.

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What does a desperate Mexican do?

Bangs his head against the wall.

What's the best part about banging twenty two year olds?

There's twenty of them.

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What's the difference between the Notre Dame Fighting Irish and Charlie Sheen?

Charlie Sheen's winning.

How did Charlie Sheen contract HIV?

By banging 7-gram rocks.