Mexican Jokes

What do Mexican's put under their carpet?

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What did the Mexican... What did the Mexican man order at the country musician themed restaurant?

A Reba!

What is a Mexican astronomer's favorite food?

A Quasar-dilla.

What do you get when you cross a Mexican cholo and an ill tempered Irishman?

A surprisingly stable person according to my Homie O'Statis.

What do you call a Mexican baby born yesterday?

Diego

What did the Mexican fire chief call his 2 sons?

Hose A and hose B (read it out loud)

What do you call Mexican food when it gets cold?

A burrrrrrito.

Why do Mexicans keep naming their child Jesus?

Jesus wasn't Mexican. He was human.

What do you call a Mexican in Canada?

ACCOMPLISHED. They crossed two borders!

Why aren't there any Mexican swimmers in the Olympics?

Because they're all in the US

What do you call a Mexican on a RIDING lawn mower?

Promoted

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What makes Mexican and black jokes so similar?

Once you've heard Juan you've heard Jamal.

What does a Mexican get when he slides down a hill?

Gracias

What does the arabs put in their Mexican food?

Allah-penos

What did the Mexican princess ask her sister?

Tijuana build a snowman

What do you call a Mexican whose car has been stolen?

Carlos

Why was Juan late to the Mexican food party?

Because he had to pick up the Pace! (Pace salsa)

What's the difference between "choice" and "choose?

Choice" is your ability to make decisions, "choose" are what Mexicans put on their feet.

What did the Mexican say to the Italian?

Que pasta

What do u call a Mexican who survives a shootout and lives to tell the tale?

The Juan who lived.

What do they call the fairy in the Mexican version of Peter Pan?

Taco Bell.

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What do Mexicans play at their funerals?

Another Juan Bites The Dust

What did Johnny Cash say to the waitress after he got sick at a Mexican restaurant?

I've bean everywhere, ma'am!

Why do Mexicans make refried beans?

Ever heard of a Mexican doing something right the first time

What did the Mexican student say when he was asked to turn in his essay?

I ain't no snitch.

Why did the Mexican push his wife off the bridge?

Tequila

What hat does a Mexican wear to a funeral?

A somber-ero.

What did the little Mexican boy get for Christmas?

My bike.

What did the Mexican fireman name his 2 children?

Jose and Hose B

What do you get when you cross a moose with a Mexican?

A Mexican moose

What did the Mexican-American say when two houses landed on him?

Get off me holmes!

What does an elderly Mexican have?

Senority

What do you call a Mexican melon?

A cantelopez! Came up with this on all by myself. I'm a new Dad, so I feel as if I've significantly leveled up my Dad Joke ability.

Why were there only 1,000 Mexicans at the Alamo?

They only had 2 trucks

What would Obi Wan be called if he were Mexican?

Obi Juan Kenobi.

Why did the SJW hate the Mexican robot?

Because it was Pablo-matic

What is an alcoholic Mexican's favorite book?

Tequila Mockingbird

Why did the Mexican guy rob a train?

He had a loco motive.

Did you hear about the Mexican train killer?

He had loco motives

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France Jokes More France Jokes

What's the difference between a jar of mayonnaise and France?

If you leave the jar alone for 200 years it'll develop a culture.

Why there are so many avenues in France?

Because German soldiers like to march in the shade

America Jokes More America Jokes

Why aren't there any 'Knock, Knock' jokes about America?

Cuz freedom rings, baby!

Why aren't there any knock-knock jokes about America?

Because freedom rings.

Problem Jokes More Problem Jokes

Why was the math book sad?

It had a lot of problems

What do you call an orange elephant?

Call it whatever. It is not like it is gonna have a problem with that.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

How Many Running Backs Does It Take To Turn On A Light?

Two. One to find the switch...the other to hit it.

Why did the one-eyed pirate keep running aground?

No depth perception.

Alien Jokes More Alien Jokes

What do you get if you cross a student and an alien?

Something from another universe -ity!

What do you call an alien from Austria?

Austalian

Moon Jokes More Moon Jokes

What do you call a bug on the moon?

A lunatic! (luna-tick)

How does the man in the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.

Solve Jokes More Solve Jokes

Why can't atheist solve exponential problems?

Because they don't believe in higher powers.

Why couldn't the tree solve the Lumberjack's riddle?

He was stumped.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why does Bob Seger always laugh when he plays chess?

He thinks it's funny how the Knight moves.

What do you call a guy who plays Fallout?

A Fall Out Boy.