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Problem Jokes

What is the worst type of doctor you can be?

Gynecologist - because in the hole that the whole world is looking for pleasure, he's looking for problems.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Everyday Deserves a Joke

What does an inexperienced public speaker and a pizza place with high workers have in common?

They both have problems with delivery.

Why did the ghost go into rehab?

He had a problem with boos.

What do you call a terrorist on the moon?

A problem. What do you call when 3 terrorists are on the moon? A problem. What do you call when all the terrorists are on the moon? A solution.

What's the problem when your wife walks out of the kitchen?

The chain is too long.

What's the problem with Java jokes?

They have no.

How do you annoy a computer person with a problem?

Never mind, I figured it out.

What do Windows and a submarine have in common?

If you open the windows in a submarine, your problems will begin.

How does a skeleton solve a problem?

With the bare-bones approach.

Why are popcorn just like people?

Everything is fine as long as they are white, it is when they turn black it starts to be a problem.

How is Bernie going to pay for free college for everyone?

No problem! He'll just make Mexico pay for it!

Birthday State of Mind

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Birthday State of Mind

What is the problem with high frequency?

It Hertz

Why when you spill red wine on a carpet do you take the stain out with white wine?

Because more alcohol is the solution to all problems.

Why did the young Mexican solve the problem so easily?

It was a no buena My girlfriend is Mexican so I love Mexican jokes. Let me know if you have one!

What did the doctor say to the lizard who was complaining about problems performing in the bedroom?

It sounds like you have a reptile dysfunction.

What's the problem with leptokurtic data sets?

They tend to be mean.

What do you call a drum that causes problems?

A conundrum

What's the difference between a cloths hanger and a flight of stairs?

The cloths hanger only solves one problem.

What did the astronaut from AA say in space?

Houston, I have a problem.

Whats the problem with feminist picnics?

None of them make the sandwiches.

Why did the pig quit running the the marathon?

He had a problem with his hamstring.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just two. One to explain to the public that everything possible is being done to solve the problem, and the other to screw the lightbulb into the water faucet.

What do you call an orange elephant?

Call it whatever. It is not like it is gonna have a problem with that.

What's the best angle to tackle a problem?

The try-angle

Why did the Mexican food go to counseling?

He wanted to taco bout his problems

What's the problem with North Korea?

It has no Seoul!!

How can you lift an elephant with one hand?

A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand.

What's the hardest part of a gardener's job?

Getting to the root of the problem.

What's everyone's problem with euthanasia?

I like little Asian kids

What do you call it when a lizard has problems in the bedroom?

A reptile dysfunction

What's your funniest yet least known joke?

I have a friend that absolutely loves cheesy, question and answer jokes and I wanna make a card with a list of them! The problem is that she knows just about every joke known to man so I challenge you to give me hilarious, short jokes that aren't very widely known. Make me laugh!

We've Got This Love Thing Down

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We've Got This Love Thing Down

What kind of a shoe has a problem?

An issue.

How many teamsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

19. Got a problem with that?

Whats the problem with tainted money?

It taint yours and it taint mine :D (Puns for the win :D)

Why was the math book sad?

It had a lot of problems

What the problem?

Man 1: *Sighs* " I guess i'm just having some problems with my inner-sole "

What was Bernie Sander's favorite topic in mathematics?

Radicals. He loved finding the "root" of problems...

What's the problem with radioactive underpants?

Chernobyl fall out..

Why do aliens always disembark via ramp?

Do they have problems with stairs Or are flying saucers just handicap-accessible

How do you get your pigs to sleep at night?

No problem. Everyone here goes to bed with the chickens. You must have a very large chicken house.

Why are chemists always a part of the problem?

Because they can never be a part of the solution.

How can I face the problem?

When my problem is my face!

What's the problem?

Wife: He makes friends with the strangest things Me petting a bee: You're not strange are you Alan

What do you get if you ask a former presidential candidate to write a piece of music about a formula for solving a problem based on a sequence of specified actions?

An algorithm.

How long have you had this problem?

The doctor asked. "Lest's see" said the patient "Mom had the litter in '41

What's the problem with tipped cows?

They can't MOOve

What kind of back problem did the terrorist have?

Scoli-isis

Why are shopaholics so hard to help?

They can be very "clothes"-minded about the problem.

How did the mathematician solve his constipation problems?

The same way he solved all other problems: He worked it out with a pencil and paper.

Why was the maths book sad?

It had too many problems.

What's the worst part about a potato famine?

You can't get to the root of the problem.

How Am I Driving' sign* Panics Hello?

There's a problem. Your driver doesn't understand how he's driving

What did one math book say to the other?

Man I got a lot of problems!

Why do math teachers never get constipated?

Because they always work problems out with a pencil.

What's does America and programming have in common?

When you fix one problem, 38 more problems pop up.

What did one math book say to the other math book?

You've got problems.

What do you call a drink with problems?

Dilemmanade

How is that a problem?

The man says, "I don't wake up until 10:30."

Why are math books useless?

Because they are full of problems.

Why did the hoagie go to the shrink?

He was having problems with his sub-conscious.

Why is Math always sad?

Because it has too many problems.

Why do you look so sad?

Boy explains his whole problem Girl: Oh, that's why you didn't notice my nail paint

What's the hardest part about working as a nurse or doctor at a women's hospital?

When you ask the patients "what's the problem " They'll say "nothing"

Why is YOLO popular all of a sudden?

Was there seriously a problem of people thinking we all lived twice

What did the Math book say to the pencil?

I see your point I've got a lot of problems.

What has everyone been doing at Apple since the problems with the iPhone 6 started?

Looking for Jobs.

What is your Problem?

Darren: Suffering from Unlimited Free Outgoings with Different Different Ringtones...:-):-D

How many Republicans does it take to fix a problem?

No one knows. It's never happened.

Why aren't broken bones a problem in India?

Everyone is already in a caste

What do gamers who switch consoles and mathematicians have in common?

They both have problems finding x.

What did the maths homework website say to the geometry website?

Boy do we have problems.

What seems to be th- Me: -Medicinal marijuana! Doc: I'm sorry?

Me: Let's start with the answer, then work on the problem, ok

Why is my algebra textbook so sad?

It has a lot of problems.

How did the mathematician solve his problem with constipation?

He worked it out with a pencil

What was the problem?

ME: The packing implied that there would be a family that loves me inside the tent

How many gangsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Twelve, you got a problem with that

Why is the Math Book so sad?

It has so many problems! -Sorry doing a whole bunch of math today and i thought of this.

What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?

I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

What's the difference between a problem and a challenge?

A student repsonds, "3 boys + 1 girl = problem. 1 boy + 3 girls = challenge."

What's the definition of an accountant?

Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

What did the math text book say to the Shakespeare text book?

Look, buddy, I've already got a lot of problems, and I really don't need any of your drama.

What's the problem with your marriage?

WIFE: He replaces words with animal names just to annoy me ME: I don't do it on porpoise

What dog do other dogs tell their problems to?

A complaint Bernard!

The punchline often arrives before the set-up.

Do you know the problem with UDP jokes?

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between the Devil and Ted Cruz?

The Devil has standards.

What's the difference between ELI5 and AskScience?

About 3 replies in the top comment thread.

Paper Jokes More Paper Jokes

What do you call a belt made of paper?

A waist of paper.

What do you get if you cross a labrador and a tortoise?

A dog that will run to the shop to get your paper and bring back last weeks paper!

Huge Problem Jokes More Huge Problem Jokes

How many teenage mutant ninja turtules does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. It's a huge problem.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why do men buy electric lawn mowers?

A. So they can find their way back to the house.

Why did God make man before woman?

You need a rough draft before you have a final copy.

Moon Jokes More Moon Jokes

Why does the sun set at night?

The moon scares the daylights out of it!

What did the scientists say when they found bones on the moon?

The cow didn't make it.

Challenge Jokes More Challenge Jokes

What's the worst thing about challenging an unjust law?

Failing to get away.

What did the visually-challenged gentleman say as he walked past the tuna stand at the open air market on a hot summer's day?

Hello ladies. Warm enough for you

Hardware Problem Jokes More Hardware Problem Jokes

How many I.T. guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. That's a hardware problem but have you tried turning it on and off again

How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None that's a hardware problem

Constipation Problem Jokes More Constipation Problem Jokes

How does a mathematician solve his constipation problem?

He works it out with a pencil! =

How did the mathematician solve his constipation problems?

The same way he solved all other problems: He worked it out with a pencil and paper.