Why did the pig quit running the the marathon?

He had a problem with his hamstring.

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Quit Jokes More Quit Jokes

What does an existentialist bully say?

Quit being yourself, quit being yourself!

Why did the man quit his job at the bakery?

He didn't knead any more dough.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What brings you to speed dating?

Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me.

What type of government would a nation ran by Alvin and the Chipmunks be called?

A theocracy.

Problem Jokes More Problem Jokes

What did one math book say to the other?

Man I got a lot of problems!

How many gangsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Twelve, you got a problem with that

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

How do pigs gets to hospital?

In a hambulance

Where did you get that?

The pig replies, "I won her in a raffle."

Marathon Jokes More Marathon Jokes

How did the Catholic Priest finish the marathon?

He was second to Nun.

How can you tell if somebody's run a marathon?

Wait 15 seconds, they'll tell you.

Hamstring Jokes More Hamstring Jokes

What's the strongest muscle on a pig?

The hamstring.

What's a pigs favorite muscle?

The hamstring.