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What brings you to speed dating?

Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me.

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Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why are French guns the best to buy?

They've never been fired, and only dropped once.

What are the first words Jared Fogle's girlfriend said to him?

Would you like to buy some girl scout cookies, sir?

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

How do you get a Mormon to not drink all of your beer on a fishing trip?

Bring two Mormons.

How much longer?

Did you bring any snacks They want $5 for M&M's! I wanna go home Is it over yet - me watching my kids Christmas pageant

Speed Jokes More Speed Jokes

What does "Maginot Line" get translated to in English?

Speed bump ahead

What's faster, the speed of thought or the speed of light?

Neither, it's diarrhea. Before you could think about it or even turn the lights on, you've already shat yourself.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What do you call a dictator running a bookshop?

The Supreme Reader.

Why doesn't Mexico have a team in the summer Olympics?

Because all the ones who can run, jump or swim are ready in the US.

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

Whats the best part about dating a black girl?

You rarely have to meet their dad.

What did the girl sea say when the boy sea asked her for a date?

Shore.

Gf Jokes More Gf Jokes

What happened did someone try to break into your house?

Me: No. My gf said we needed to talk

What's a GF?

Mom:if you are a good boy,you will get one when you're older. Son:What if i'm not a good boy? Mom:You'll get many.