They prevented Hispanic attacks
Smashed potatoes.
So he could roll down the window when it gets too hot. How we joke in Kurdistan
I told her that drinks were on the house
The close thing I came to having friends with benefits was.......... convincing my friend to bring food for me daily.
Her algae bra.
Because they always bring boos.
None. She should have opened it as she brought it to you.
None, the beer should be open by the time she has brought it to you.
To bring down the Wicked Witch of the West.
Because it's soda pressing
They bring flowers to his grave.
Pilgrims.
Because they cantaloupe. This joke was brought to you by Dads inc.
Squirrels they're the best at getting nuts out of their shells.
You must not bring either to the movies.
Poverty
He's a party pooper!
His homemade Bris-kit.
A
For bringing home the bacon.
Falafel and hummus.
He got lost in the maize.
Because they can get 4g
The referee said he wanted a clean fight.
I'm going to a cheese and wine party tonight and the host has requested I bring a "mystery cheese". I'm hoping there's a puntastic cheese out there somewhere that may fit the bill!
He was trying to get her pedicure.
Because he's the fire starter.
They can both bring out the child from within.
Fo Drizzle.
Stephen Hawking
Its in case he gets a hole-in-one.
Just in case they get a hole in one. Credit to
He was expecting showers.
Slanta Claus.
We don't care how you bring 'em, just Brigham Young.
They only had two vans
An AYE-Phone. (Joke brought to you by a 5 year old)
The one who can bring his friends two cups of coffee and a dozen donuts.
In case he got a hole in one.
They might Pikachu.
Gravity. It's always bringing me down.
I am tired of looking for a job.
At the bottom of the fifth the bags were loaded.
Eggsalad
They only had 2 vans
Because they bring Mayflowers
The
Because there was 2 basketball courts. DUH!
He was invited to thunday math.
Moose-saka
In case he gets a hole-in-one
Because its a band substance
A swallow
Nine-Nine-Nine
One woman brings you into this world crying and the other ensures you continue to do so.
A pocket full of shells.
It was leave your keys at the door.
He brought the wrong carrion.
If she's only wearing one sock. (This joke brought to you courtesy the homeless guy outside my local 7-11.) Edit: tweaked the punchline.
The Frankenstork.
A dead bullfrog.
Because when he asked his wife how many eggs to buy, she said 4!
Wooffies!
Instead of all this "how did you get in to my house " calling 9-11 business.
Do you know yet Me (in a sea of puppies): No, they haven't done it. Bring more
If your asparagus brought em, then I'd be impressed.
He wanted a spare in case he had a split.
Bring it to a bool.
She's afraid they'll bring down the house.
So that they can pack the defence!
One brings black stuff and the other gets rid of it
In case you get a hole-in-one (stolen from some girl at school)
Bring two Mormons.
Because he brought his own drumsticks
Your calves.
A scale letrix!
Samson he brought the house down!
Bring her flours
The police made him bring it back again.
Row v. Wade
In case he gets a hole in one.
Because April showers, bring May flowers!
Because it brings Mayflowers.
Bring on their subs!
OC) Brats!
The Philosophers Stoned
Bracken: Well you told me to bring all my records with me and I did. Here's some by Willie Nelson Tammy Wynette and Garth Brooks...
Toad was a fungi.
Swallow the leader. *This joke has been brought to you by my 8 year old's math homework.*
He wanted to sing higher!
Long pause while Jesus glares at interviewer* Are you being serious right now
Congee-gal visit
He wanted to have some stage presents.
An AK-47." "No next to that." "A bag of cheetos." "You can't bring that into the movie."
None, it should be open when she brings it to you.
A turn up
Tupac - Biggie Smalls - Eazy E - Meek Mills
A cup of yogurt.
They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".
You never forget
It seemed funnier when I first said it. is this how it always happens
Cross-country
Echo-location, location, location (Replace "bat" with "zubat" if you wish.)
Well, the flag is a big plus.
It will ease my inflation and the benefits will trickle down.
Steaks.
Tie food
About 5 seconds.
Wine gets better as it gets older
Telephone, telegraph, tell a woman.
3-year-old: NOTHING! Phew! she's already a woman
Jose and Hose-B
Jesus, take the wheel!
