What do you get if you cross a labrador and a tortoise?

A dog that will run to the shop to get your paper and bring back last weeks paper!

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

Why do we say dogs are man's best friend? Why not say dogs are man's and woman's best friend?

Because diamonds are a woman's best friend.

What do you get when you cross a philosopher, an insomniac and a dyslexic?

A guy who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog. Infinite Jest, by DFW

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get if you cross a skunk and a boomerang?

A smell that keeps coming back!

Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons?

Because they didn't want to wait 40 years for a train!

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

What animal do psychiatrists bring in to mental hospitals to help patients with social anxiety?

Squirrels they're the best at getting nuts out of their shells.

Who did the baker bring to work?

His doughter.

Shop Jokes More Shop Jokes

Why does Meek Mill avoid shopping on Black Friday?

Because the stores advertise "Back to Back" savings.

Where do minions shop?

Banana Republic

Paper Jokes More Paper Jokes

What is the difference between a Mexican and a book?

A book has papers.

Why did the paper follow the pencil?

Because it LED THE WAY! I'm on a roll here! this is fun! Skip

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What did Pac-Man say when he almost got run over?

I'm Waka-Waka-Waka-Walking here!

What language does robot Marco run on?

Rubio on rails

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

What did Abraham Lincoln say after a two week drunk?

I freed what

Which day of the week do ghosts like best?

Moandays.

Tortoise Jokes More Tortoise Jokes

What did Patrick Stewart say when he was given a tortoise for his birthday?

Please, take it back. I don't like getting attached to animals. Especially when they only live 100 years.

Why did the tortoise get arrested?

Because he got there before the hare.

Labrador Jokes More Labrador Jokes

How do you call an intelligent blonde?

A Labrador.

What do you get if you cross a labrador and a tortoise?

A dog that will run to the shop to get your paper and bring back last weeks paper!