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Why did the mathematician bring home 24 eggs from the grocery store?

Because when he asked his wife how many eggs to buy, she said 4!

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Egg Jokes More Egg Jokes

Why did the egg spill his guts at an AA meeting?

He was addicted to crack.

Why did the chicken lay an egg?

Quoted from daughter at age 3) To get food for her babies!

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What are you praying for?

Husband: For guidance. Wife: Pray for hardness. Leave guidance to me!!!

What do you call a man whose wife was the Queen, his daughter a Princess and his boss an Emperor, but he himself is no royal?

Darth Vader.

4 Jokes More 4 Jokes

What has 4 wheels and flies?

A garbage truck

Why is the set including the square root of 5 and the square root of 4 similar to the set including anarchism and authoritarianism?

They are both unlike radicals.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a redditor and a MOBA player?

Ask them what OP stands for.

Why don't you ask Joseph, the carpenter?

God: Uh huge grin cos I'm banging his wife raises hand up top

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

How many people does it take to change a light bulb?

Is just one of the questions I should have asked before buying a lighthouse....

Why do robbers steal money?

Me: So they can buy stuff. 4: Why don't they just steal the stuff She's a criminal mastermind.

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

When I bring you breakfast in bed, why can't you just say "thank you"?

Instead of all this "how did you get in to my house " calling 9-11 business.

What did the dog bring to party?

Wooffies!

Mathematician Jokes More Mathematician Jokes

What is a Mathematician specializing in absolute numbers called?

A Sith.

Why Do Mathematicians Never Go To The Beach?

Because they got sin and cos to give them a tan.

24 Jokes More 24 Jokes

What has 12 breasts and 24 teeth?

The night shift at Waffle House.

How do you make soup golden?

You add 24 carrots.

Grocery Store Jokes More Grocery Store Jokes

What grocery store does Charlie Sheen frequently visit?

Rite Aid

Why do they ask you if you would like paper or plastic at the grocery store?

Because baggers can't be choosers,