What's wrong with these eggs I ordered?

Waiter: Don't ask me. I only laid the table.

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Egg Jokes More Egg Jokes

How does the Easter Bunny paint all of those eggs?

He hires Santa's elves during the off-season.

How do dentists like their eggs?

Poached.

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

How are women and linoleum floors alike?

You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.

What does an insomniac, philosopher, atheist, dyslexic do at night?

Lay awake, contemplating the existence of Dog.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did the Redditor say when... What did Redditor say when asked why he failed his PSAT test?

TL;DR

How many pixies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, but don't ask me how they got in there.

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

Why were the Twin Towers upset?

They ordered pepperoni but they got plane

Why were the people in the World Trade Center mad on 9/11?

Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and all they got was plane.

Table Jokes More Table Jokes

What do you call something that swims, is big and has 4 legs?

A whale with a table taped to it.

Why did the student do their multiplication problems on the floor?

Their teacher told them not to use tables!

Waiter Jokes More Waiter Jokes

What did Shrek say when the waiter dropped off his food at the German Restaurant?

Donkey!" (Danke) You gotta say it with the Shrek accent to work.

Why are the waiters in here so nasty?

Waiter: Look at who they have to serve.