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What's wrong with these eggs I ordered?

Waiter: Don't ask me. I only laid the table.

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Egg Jokes More Egg Jokes

What do you get when you drop an egg off the Empire State Building?

New Yolk

What do eggs say when they're turnt?

Omelette, fam

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

What do you call a dog with a stain on his fur?

Spot. What do you call a dog who lays on a golf course Ruff. What do you call a dog who just got run over Rhody.

What do you get when......you cross a religious skeptic, a dyslexic, and an insomniac?

A person who lays awake at night wondering if there really is a dog.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How do you find out what's in an e-cigarette?

Just ask someone not to smoke it next to you.

What did Wiz Khalifa say when he was asked his opinion on the dress?

Yeah, uh huh, you know what it is.

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

What did one ovary say to the other one?

Did you order any furniture?" "No. Why?" asked the other. "Cause there's two nuts out there trying to deliver an organ."

Why are you ordering so many drinks?

The dog responds, "I've had a ruff day."

Table Jokes More Table Jokes

How do you get out?

You look in the mirror and see what you saw. Take the saw and saw the table in half. Two half's make a whole, go through the hole.

Why are you guys all sitting on the same side of the table?

DaVinci

Waiter Jokes More Waiter Jokes

What's this fly doing in my soup?

The waiter responds, "The backstroke."

What's wrong with these eggs I ordered?

Waiter: Don't ask me. I only laid the table.