Order Jokes

What is the best food to order from Amazon?

Prime Rib

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I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Why do we feel the need to order beers in round?

It's beer pressure.

Why do Americans order their dates Month/Day/Year?

Because 11/9 just doesn't have the same ring to it.

What did one ovary say to the other one?

Did you order any furniture?" "No. Why?" asked the other. "Cause there's two nuts out there trying to deliver an organ."

Whats BNAG?

Its bang out of order!

What do you get when you cross the Cosby Show with Law & Order: SVU?

Women Say the Darndest Things

What do you call it when a waiter at an internet cafe gets your order wrong?

500 Internal Server Error

How was the bear able to move in order to get honey?

It had muscles.

What was the last food delivered to the Twin Towers?

Pizza. Someone ordered two large planes.

What do you call it when a man is given an order to take another man out lunch?

A MANDATE

Why were people in the Twin Towers so upset?

They ordered pepperoni but all they got was plane

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Love

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What did the made-to-order breakfast dish say to Taylor Swift at the Grammys?

Omelette you finish.

Why do people order espresso shots at Starbucks?

Because it's black. Sorry.

What does M.Night Shyamalan always order when he goes out for ice cream?

A large twist cone.

What do you call insects of the order Mantodea during mating season?

Laying mantises.

What did Davy Crockett say when he looked over The Alamo wall and saw 5,000 Mexican Soldiers?

Who the hell ordered a new roof?

What's the smallest drink you can order at a bar?

A mar tiny.

What did the hot dog vendor say at the World Trade Center?

Who ordered the two jumbos?!

Why should you never order the eggs while in France?

Because they are always uf.

What do you get when you order a JFK?

An americano with an extra shot

What did the Joker say when he was at McDonalds?

May I take your order?

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We've Got This Love Thing Down

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What did the bartender say to the giraffe when he ordered a beer?

Long neck or giraffed?

How are you going to celebrate 9-11?

I go to the tallest tower in my city. Call up a pizza place and order two large planes.

Why is the Statue of Liberty a woman?

Because the head had to be empty in order to build a restaurant.

What do you call a "to-go" dish ordered from German-Italian restaurant?

Alfredosehen

Why'd you order the Fish n' Chips?

For the Halibut.

Why is it so hard to order pizza from me?

I'll update with the hilarious punchline later...

What kind of court order would be placed on a pig in order to prevent it from taking a specific course of action?

An inj-oink-tion.

What do birds order when they go to Starbucks?

Flappaccinos.

Why did Snoke get his meal before Kylo Ren?

Because he made the First Order!

When she read the order back to me she said, "So, you have one thick sausage, anything else?

I looked her dead in the eye and replied, "Yes, I also ordered a pizza."

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What kind of pizza did they order on nine eleven?

2 large planes

Why should you never order the T-bone in an Alaskan restaurant?

Because it might be a moose steak.

What's the definition of a cannibal?

Some who goes into a restaurant and orders a waiter!

Why are people always having their pizzas delivered?

Just order them without liver.

How did the Italians lose WWII?

They ordered ziti instead of shells.

Why are you being so distant?

Me: Why didn't you order a side of guacamole

When should you feel sorry for a skunk?

When its spray pump is out of order!

What does he order?

Ein stein

How long must I wait for that turtle soup I ordered?

Waiter: Well you know how slow turtles are.

Why were the twin towers sad?

They ordered pepperoni but got plain.

Why doesn't Kylo Ren's lightsaber look like a normal lightsaber?

Because it's a First Order approximation.

Why did you crash into that stop sign?

Motorist: I was only following orders.

How much does wonton soup weigh?

One ton, but I don't know anyone that'd wantonly order it.

How fast can you order a pizza?

HER: I don't- ME: *hits buzzer* NEXT

How does Batman order his iced water?

Can I get that..Just ice

How do you order food at a Muslim restaurant?

Allah carte.

When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

How would you order a Subway footlong in metric countries where they don't have feet?

By crawling to the counter " GET OUT

Why do you never see a Teddy bear ordering dessert?

Cus they are always stuffed.

What did he tell people in order to make them avoid taking it?

Eschew! Eschew!

Why were the Twin Towers upset?

They ordered pepperoni but they got plane

What's the secret to a long life?

I said, "Never order vegetarian in Texas"

What do you call someone who keeps trying the same thing again and again, yet expects different results?

A weapons designer for the First Order.

Why were the people in twin towers upset?

They ordered pepperoni pizza but all they got was plane

What's wrong with these eggs I ordered?

Waiter: Don't ask me. I only laid the table.

Why were the twin towers disappointed?

They ordered pepperoni and all they got was plane.

What's a girl gotta do to get a drink?

Me: You just give the bartender your order. Her: ... Me: It's really pretty easy. Her: *leaves*

Why are you taking so long to order?

Diner: I can't decide whether I want heartburn or nausea.

Who ordered the farts?

Then, fart.

How do you order a bill in Australian restaurant?

Cheque, mate! --- Maybe not the funniest buy posting because: My. My own. My precious...

Why was the dyslexic rabbit disappointed when he received the solid gold bar he had ordered via the internet?

He thought the ad said '24 carrots'

When an ape visits his tailor what kind of a suit does he order?

A zoo-t suit!

Why were the people in the Twin Towers disappointed on 9/11?

They ordered 2 pepperoni pizzas, but all they got were 2 large plains.

What's wrong with a broken alphabetizer?

It's out of order.

Why were the people in the Twin Towers so upset about their pizza order?

They ordered pepperoni but all they got was plane.

When the cashier asks me "Is that everything?

I feel like crap inside because obviously my order didn't satisfy her.

How long does it take for stormtroopers to obey Kylo Ren?

Just the First Order.

What happens when doughnuts join a sorority?

They have to go through the glazing. I'm sorry I'm a baker it just came to me... Pun-ishment is in order.

What did the author tell his publisher when he handed him a 600 pages instead of the 200 the publisher had asked for?

Sorry, I overwrote your order.

What does a Buddhist monk say when ordering a subway sandwich?

Make me one with everything*

Why were the people in the twin towers mad?

Because they ordered pepperoni, but all they got was plane.

Why were the people in the World Trade Center mad on 9/11?

Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and all they got was plane.

Why are you ordering so many drinks?

The dog responds, "I've had a ruff day."

A ham sandwhich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says...

I'm sorry, we don't serve food here

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Chinese Restaurant Jokes More Chinese Restaurant Jokes

What's the only thing you can say when the Chinese Restaurant over booked your reservation?

Welp. You dim sum, you lose some

What happens when the lights go out in a Chinese restaurant?

It'll Dimsum.

Skeleton Order Jokes More Skeleton Order Jokes

What does a skeleton orders at a restaurant?

Spare ribs.

What did the skeleton order at the restaurant?

Spare ribs.

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

How do Mexicans line up?

Juan by Juan

What did the Mexican kid get for his birthday?

My bike

Plane Jokes More Plane Jokes

What do you call 100 black people on a plane to Africa?

A good start.

How do you change the number of sides on a Pentagon?

Intersect it with a plane.

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

Why has no one invented a device where I can move myself around from place to place while lying in a hammock?

I remember when we used to make stuff in this lazy country!

Which place has the strongest gravity in the whole universe?

Bed

House Jokes More House Jokes

What is a dog's favorite thing about living in a house?

Roofs.

What does an Eskimo do if his house falls down?

Igloos it back together.

Prime Rib Jokes More Prime Rib Jokes

What is the best food to order from Amazon?

Prime Rib

What is the first derivative of a cow?

A prime rib.

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

Why do they print nutritional information on Snickers bars?

If you don't know candy is bad for you, what are the chances you can read

What did the man say when he couldn't get the gun to fire?

Looks like I'm gonna have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual.