Order Jokes

What is the best food to order from Amazon?

Prime Rib

Everyday Deserves a Joke

$19.99

Why do we feel the need to order beers in round?

It's beer pressure.

Whats BNAG?

Its bang out of order!

What do you call it when a waiter at an internet cafe gets your order wrong?

500 Internal Server Error

How was the bear able to move in order to get honey?

It had muscles.

What was the last food delivered to the Twin Towers?

Pizza. Someone ordered two large planes.

What do you call it when a man is given an order to take another man out lunch?

A MANDATE

What did the made-to-order breakfast dish say to Taylor Swift at the Grammys?

Omelette you finish.

What does M.Night Shyamalan always order when he goes out for ice cream?

A large twist cone.

What do you call insects of the order Mantodea during mating season?

Laying mantises.

What's the smallest drink you can order at a bar?

A mar tiny.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

$19.99

Why should you never order the eggs while in France?

Because they are always uf.

What did the Joker say when he was at McDonalds?

May I take your order?

What did the bartender say to the giraffe when he ordered a beer?

Long neck or giraffed?

What do you call a "to-go" dish ordered from German-Italian restaurant?

Alfredosehen

Why'd you order the Fish n' Chips?

For the Halibut.

What kind of court order would be placed on a pig in order to prevent it from taking a specific course of action?

An inj-oink-tion.

What do birds order when they go to Starbucks?

Flappaccinos.

Why did Snoke get his meal before Kylo Ren?

Because he made the First Order!

Why should you never order the T-bone in an Alaskan restaurant?

Because it might be a moose steak.

What's the definition of a cannibal?

Some who goes into a restaurant and orders a waiter!

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

$19.99

Why are people always having their pizzas delivered?

Just order them without liver.

When should you feel sorry for a skunk?

When its spray pump is out of order!

How long must I wait for that turtle soup I ordered?

Waiter: Well you know how slow turtles are.

Why doesn't Kylo Ren's lightsaber look like a normal lightsaber?

Because it's a First Order approximation.

Why did you crash into that stop sign?

Motorist: I was only following orders.

How much does wonton soup weigh?

One ton, but I don't know anyone that'd wantonly order it.

How does Batman order his iced water?

Can I get that..Just ice

How do you order food at a Muslim restaurant?

Allah carte.

How would you order a Subway footlong in metric countries where they don't have feet?

By crawling to the counter " GET OUT

Why do you never see a Teddy bear ordering dessert?

Cus they are always stuffed.

What did he tell people in order to make them avoid taking it?

Eschew! Eschew!

Why were the Twin Towers upset?

They ordered pepperoni but they got plane

What's the secret to a long life?

I said, "Never order vegetarian in Texas"

What do you call someone who keeps trying the same thing again and again, yet expects different results?

A weapons designer for the First Order.

Why were the people in twin towers upset?

They ordered pepperoni pizza but all they got was plane

What's wrong with these eggs I ordered?

Waiter: Don't ask me. I only laid the table.

Why were the twin towers disappointed?

They ordered pepperoni and all they got was plane.

What's a girl gotta do to get a drink?

Me: You just give the bartender your order. Her: ... Me: It's really pretty easy. Her: *leaves*

Why are you taking so long to order?

Diner: I can't decide whether I want heartburn or nausea.

How do you order a bill in Australian restaurant?

Cheque, mate! --- Maybe not the funniest buy posting because: My. My own. My precious...

Why was the dyslexic rabbit disappointed when he received the solid gold bar he had ordered via the internet?

He thought the ad said '24 carrots'

When an ape visits his tailor what kind of a suit does he order?

A zoo-t suit!

Why were the people in the Twin Towers disappointed on 9/11?

They ordered 2 pepperoni pizzas, but all they got were 2 large plains.

What's wrong with a broken alphabetizer?

It's out of order.

Why were the people in the Twin Towers so upset about their pizza order?

They ordered pepperoni but all they got was plane.

When the cashier asks me "Is that everything?

I feel like crap inside because obviously my order didn't satisfy her.

How long does it take for stormtroopers to obey Kylo Ren?

Just the First Order.

What happens when doughnuts join a sorority?

They have to go through the glazing. I'm sorry I'm a baker it just came to me... Pun-ishment is in order.

What did the author tell his publisher when he handed him a 600 pages instead of the 200 the publisher had asked for?

Sorry, I overwrote your order.

What does a Buddhist monk say when ordering a subway sandwich?

Make me one with everything*

Why were the people in the twin towers mad?

Because they ordered pepperoni, but all they got was plane.

Why were the people in the World Trade Center mad on 9/11?

Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and all they got was plane.

Why are you ordering so many drinks?

The dog responds, "I've had a ruff day."

A ham sandwhich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says...

I'm sorry, we don't serve food here

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What did the man say when he couldn't get the gun to fire?

Looks like I'm gonna have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual.

Who were the first people not to read the apple ToC?

Adam and Eve

People Jokes More People Jokes

How many people does it take to screw in a light?

Two, but I don't know how they'll fit inside the bulb

Why do they have fences around cemetaries?

Because people are dying to get in.

Pepperoni Jokes More Pepperoni Jokes

Why were the Twin Towers upset?

They ordered pepperoni but they got plane

Why were the people in the Twin Towers so upset about their pizza order?

They ordered pepperoni but all they got was plane.

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

What do you call a Mexican who's car got stolen?

Carlos.

What is a Mexican's favourite sport?

Cross-Country Running

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

How much does a Chinese dumpling weigh?

It weighs *Won-ton*

What do you call a Chinese millionare?

Ching-Ching.

Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

What the hell is that?

Sherlock responds, "A lemon tree my dear Watson."

What did you do before you were married sir?

*with teary eyes* whatever the hell i wanted to do...

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

Why can't you feel photons?

Because they are light.

Why did the marine park worker feel aimless?

Because they lacked porpoises.

Prime Rib Jokes More Prime Rib Jokes

What is the best food to order from Amazon?

Prime Rib

What is the first derivative of a cow?

A prime rib.