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How do you order a bill in Australian restaurant?

Cheque, mate! --- Maybe not the funniest buy posting because: My. My own. My precious...

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Where does the military commander buy his groceries?

The GENERAL STORE HAHAHAHAHAHA IM SO SORRY

Why did the mobster buy a planner?

So he could organize his crime

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Why should you never take a swordfish out to dinner?

Because you'll get stuck with the bill, and if you don't have money to pay the restaurant will call the cods on you. Fin.

Why was Hillary thrown out of a restaurant?

She trashed the bill. Alt punch line 1 (u/Causative): She demanded her own private server and tried to have her meals removed.

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How do you order a bill in Australian restaurant?

Cheque, mate! --- Maybe not the funniest buy posting because: My. My own. My precious...

What kind of pizza did they order on nine eleven?

2 large planes

Post Jokes More Post Jokes

What do elves post on Social Media?

Elf-ies.

Why doesn't Stephen Hawking need a wife?

Because he has his own shoulder to cry on. Edit: all credit goes to /u/Earleebird who posted it in a comment in /r/oldschoolcool

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What did the Australian say when he won a game of chess?

Cheers, mate.

What is one thing that both Australians &amp Americans share the same view on?

1961

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What is the funniest two legged lizard?

The stand-up chameleon.

How many didn't?

Ten. (Shame this one doesn't work too well for reddit - the funniest part of this joke is the third punchline enjoying people struggle to understand what the hell you're talking about.)