When I have complicated problems I always ask myself, what would my imaginary wife do?

And then I end up buying myself cupcakes, and shoes.

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Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist?

Ask him/her to pronounce unionized

Why do people keep asking me what I'm going to be doing in three years?

I don't have 2020 vision.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

What is the worst place to have the "you break it, you buy it" rule?

The pet store

Why don't Canadians do well on Wheel of Fortune?

Because the host gets confused when they say "I'd to buy a vowel eh."

End Jokes More End Jokes

What does a WoW player with tubercolosis say when he ends a conversation?

TBC

What is mitosis?

Those are the things on the ends of my feetsis. Thought of this during my last bio exam.

Shoe Jokes More Shoe Jokes

Why do shoes get sad... Why do shoes get sad when they lose their matching shoe?

Because they lost their solemate

What's a pedo's favorite kind of shoe?

White vans

Cupcake Jokes More Cupcake Jokes

Who says you can't make someone love you?

I've got a bottle of Scotch, some duct tape and a fresh batch of cupcakes, that beg to differ.

When I have complicated problems I always ask myself, what would my imaginary wife do?

And then I end up buying myself cupcakes, and shoes.