One has a pause at the end of it's clause, the other has claws at the end of it's paws.
They're both leg ends.
End your text with "this message will self destruct in 10 seconds"
It just makes cents.
They both tell the audience what they are glad to hear. But at the end, the audience laughs at the comic, and the politician laughs at the audience.
Most of the jokes in this subreddit.
Back to school ads
Life eventually ends.
Insert coin
Cloning.
The Post Office
Nothing. She had a frog in her throat.
So they would end up with seasoned veterans.
Life.
With fade out and to credits.
He nuts and bolts.
They end up in a custardy battle.
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
You always end up going off onto tangents.
Because when she gets to 69 she ends up with a frog in her throat.
Discover.
Thanks Verstappen.
An envelope!
League of Leg ends.
They end up in a shallow grave.
Because the ends justify the memes
Wars end.
Because you end up with a ring on your finger.
Because you don't know who is going to make it to the end.
Deep ends really.
Violet
An Envelope EDIT: My deepest Canadian apologies to those who are calling this a riddle. I always took it as a cheesy joke
Only one, but it take 4 episodes and Krilin died at the end.
Foster Farms
It ends.
Human Resources.
In the end, I settled.
Because he was so full of himself.
Marriage
Popcorn, of course!
Because the pilot kept ending sentences with a preposition, over.
It was unmiscible.
Because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey.
On a plane.
No one knows - every time they pick one up, they end up giving it away.
None, cuz in the end it doesn't even matter!!!
Because her teacher told her to go do an essay.
This might be better suited for but I think its more a joke Cats have claws at the ends of it's paws commas haves pauses at the ends of its clause.
So he could make ends meet!
She wanted to buy an algae bra.
Well, if you hadn't been so fresh last night, we wouldn't have ended up in this jam!
Because it was charged with battery.
The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel. The pessimist sees nothing. And the realist sees the train.
They're both summary!
They get Hungary so they go for Turkey.
I'm not ready to dye, I still have a few ends to tie up. "Ball up..."
El Taco Lips.
Because now his watch has ended.
The bogeyman.
The magician returns your wallet at the end of the performance
Fire truck.
We were bound to get together...
Two. One to screw it almost all the way in and one to give it a surprising twist at the end.
The punchline.
Bridget the end of the world!
Just asking for a friend
On the end of monsters fingers.
They always end in a draw
Endless Bread!
Prepear for the end.
Me: Before I tell you let's talk about ending sentences with prepositions.
The digestive system is a system which starts with one hole and ends with one hole
I say "Yes I do". End of discussion.
Only one but he has to have a nurse to tell him which end to screw in.
You break it up.
Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs!
The same reason they sing Hymns instead of Hers!
Somebody took a corner!
Hiss is the end of the line for you!
Envelope
Don't do it, man, you'll never hear the end of it!
A witch with a blindfold!
Miscarriage. This joke never gets old, just like the baby.
It's stale, mate.
Ey mon.
X-post from /r/punny Because you can't end on a prep position.
Firetruck. The answer is Firetruck.
This is the end.
A ditch.
Popcorn.
In the end, both are lucky to produce a stool.
Because Happy Hour ended.
Because honey is what you find at the end of bee trails (betrayals)
Because it ran out of cluck!
Coconut.
None, they were all minerals.
Beacause a little water ends both of them!
They're intended for children but it's the men who usually end up playing with them.
At the end of the day I'm just a guy in a bikini on the bus.
God doesn't walk around thinking he's a doctor.
When the train announces an arriving "Station", you can see it.
The giraffe put him up to it.
I always like to look surprised and whisper "you can see her too ".
It was on a strict diet of worms. edit: changed pronoun to avoid ambiguity
A worm in a fur coat!
All the trees have square roots.
Honey, walk faster, KETCHUP!
Shi'a LaBeouf
Islam Dunk
Because if you're not there, then you're not around.
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and all they got was plane.
One is tickled pink, the other is a pickled Tink.
Ten-tickles
People laughed, because it was a good joke.
A punkin. Edit: and apparently not me.
