What begins with an "s", ends with a "x" and leaves a guy blown away?

Semtex.

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What does Mrs Dracula say to Mr Dracula when he leaves for work in the evening?

Have a nice bite!

What kind of doctor never leaves the hospital?

An Oncologist

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Why does Mike Tyson refuse to buy playstation?

Because he is an x-boxer

Why did x and y break up?

They couldn't function together.

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Whats the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I dont know and I dont care.

Whats the difference between Facebook and Reddit?

About two hours.

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What does a guy with no friends be for Halloween?

Depressed

Where do you guys stand on the cheese debate?

I'm staunchly pro-volone.

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What is Samsung PR team's Christmas jingle you ask?

The phone we gave you is frightful, But the fire is so delightful; And since we have no replace to go, Let it blow! Let it blow! Let it blow!

What's the difference between an orphanage and a beach ball?

You won't go to prison for blowing up a beach ball.

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What begins with P and ends with orn?

Popcorn, of course!

What's the fastest way to ruin free pie?

Put the word 'gluten' at the beginning

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What is the difference between a magician and Bernie Sanders?

The magician returns your wallet at the end of the performance

How did the tugboat get AIDS?

It was rear-ended by a ferry.