Blow Jokes

In case you hadn't noticed, the color of the wind is 'blew.' Water always looks 'wet' to me. Dirt is oviously 'dirty.' Soup seems 'soupy.' If you can't find those Crayons in your box, contact CRAYOLA.

What does a blonde and a tornado have in common?

They both start blowing but in the end they take everything from you.

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?

Because the ref was blowing a foul.

Which joke has the maximum HOT Nuns in it?

You don't know none.. And here to learn one.. So when you are with your friends.. Or walking with your son.. Tell them reddit jokes.. thinking now they would listen... (to you) play it cool, play it slow.. No need to blow.. Take this further, take this far.. till sang by a star. (Improvise it as you like, don't care about the grammar. No rapper does.)

Why did the Hydroxyl molecule blow up the US Mint?

It was a Free Radical.

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Why are MMA fighters told not to blow their nose when in a fight?

Oops, this was supposed to be for. There's no punch line!

What do you get when you throw a grenade into a kitchen in France?

Linoleum blown apart

What has nine arms and blows?

Def Leppard

What sound will reddit make when it blows up?

Nothing, it's just a website.

What sound does Reddit make when it blows up?

Pao! Edit: Whoa, FP gold. Thank you!

How did Watson and crick blow their chance with a hot girl?

They said, "baby you'd look good if you got a pair of skinny genes"

Why did the terrorist blow up the playground?

He was a suislide bomber!

Why did Kanye blow up the bakery?

Because no one man should have all that flour.

Why did the angry skeptic keep ignoring official reports about the eventual release of Half-Life 3?

He was blowing off Steam

What do you call some soapy water on the floor?

Now you're just some bubbles that I used to blow.

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What happens when you combine TNT with a hard drive?

It gets blown to

Why did the blonde have lipstick all over her steering wheel?

She was trying to blow the horn

Why did the terrorist's post make it to the front page of reddit?

Because it blew up.

What is so brilliant with a Arabian blow-up doll?

They blow themselves up.

What's orange and sounds like a carrot!!!????

A snowman blowing his nose!!!!!!!!

How do you blow a movie quote?

You just put your lips together and whistle

What is the difference between a drunk driver and a high driver?

The drunk driver will blow through a stop sign without even knowing it was there.. The high driver will wait until it turns green

Why did the referee blow his whistle at the leper hockey game?

There was a face off at centre ice.

What did the redditor say when he opened his package from the UniBomber?

Wow, I did not expect this post to blow up

How do you keep your hair from blowing everywhere when you drive in a convertible?

Cross your legs

Why did the duck go to the basketball game?

He heard the ref was blowing fouls!

Why was the candle mad at his friend?

He blew him off.

What's the difference between CNN and Al-Jazeera?

CNN shows the missiles taking off and Al-Jazeera shows them landing. (Not mine, just heard it on the Jimmy Dore show) also "My favorite indie band is Palestinian. I think they're really going to blow up."

What did Optimus Prime say to Arcee?

Have you ever blown a Transformer?

Why did the H blow itself up?

Because the Jihad.

How does a mermaid give a man head?

She blows him out of the water

Why did Kanye West blow up the bakery?

Because no one man should have all that flour.

What did one deer say to the other after leaving the bar?

I can't believe you just blew 50 bucks in there

What's the difference between a paycheck and a D**k?

You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck.

Why did the duck cross the basketball court?

He heard the referees were blowing fouls... -Jim Norton

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?

He heard the ref was blowing fouls

Why Aren't Elephants Allowed On The Beach?

Because they always blow their trunks off!

What did the fuse say when it blew out?

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

What does a basketball player do before he blows out his candles?

He makes a swish!

What is the fastest speed a woman can go?

68, because when she turns 69 she blows a rod.

What's better than a rose on your piano?

Tulips on your organ EDIT: This blew up. (No pun intended)

Why did the fan blow itself?

Because it was turned on!

Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips?

From trying to blow out lightbulbs.

How do nursing babies blow their noses?

With breast tissue.

Why wasn't the chemist concerned when she blew up her experiment?

Oxidants happen,

What's so good about being a CPU?

Every time you are turned on, you're getting blown.

What does Marilyn Quayle have in common with Marion Barry?

They've both been known to blow a little dope.

How do you celebrate July 4th in Canada?

Not by getting drunk and blowing off your fingers, because it's just a regular day fir you.

What happened when the joke about terrorists got to the front page?

It blew up

How do you write an essay that blows people away?

With lots of drafts

What's roughly 6 inches long, has a head on it, and women love it so much that they often blow it?

A 20 dollar bill

What color is the wind?

Son: "What color is the wind " Mom: "The wind is the wind, it had no color. It's transparent" Dad: "The wind is blue" Mom: "Blue How so " Dad: "Because the wind blew"