Why do thieves have such a hard time understanding sarcasm?

They take things literally

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What's the only thing worse than a poop joke?

A corny poop joke. You can really visualize it.

What did the one fish in the tank say to the other?

Do you know how to drive this thing

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Why are thieves the best actors?

Because they always steal the show.

Why didn't the man report his stolen credit card?

The thief was spending less then his wife.

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What has two thumbs and doesn't understand jokes that require a visual component?

This guy!

Why is a change machine easy to understand?

It makes cents.

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Why can't you use sarcasm with a kleptomaniac?

Because they take things literally.

Why do thieves have such a hard time understanding sarcasm?

They take things literally