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Why can't you use sarcasm with a kleptomaniac?

Because they take things literally.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What did Peter rabbit say to his girlfriend when they broke up?

Now you're just some bunny that I used to know.

Why did the old man hate using the new chip cards?

He's trying to watch his sodium intake.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What did Shakespeare say when asked how his wife keeps things interesting?

Anne hath a way.

Whats the last thing you want to hear before you go to sleep?

Zippity Bop, Puddin' pop!

Sarcasm Jokes More Sarcasm Jokes

Why do thieves have such a hard time understanding sarcasm?

They take things literally

Why do beaches not get sarcasm?

Because they always take things littorally

Kleptomaniac Jokes More Kleptomaniac Jokes

Why don't kleptomaniacs get jokes?

Because they take everything literally.

What did a kleptomaniac say on 90% sale?

It was an absolute steal!