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Why can't you use sarcasm with a kleptomaniac?

Because they take things literally.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why do console gamers use their in game names in real life?

They haven't got anti-aliasing.

How do you split Rome in half?

You use a pair of caesars.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Whats the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before he leaves the factory?

Two test tickles.

What do you call a policeman with a thing for MLP?

A clop cop.

Sarcasm Jokes More Sarcasm Jokes

What's the difference between sarcasm and a serious statement?

What're you asking me for I have Asperger's.

Why do beaches not get sarcasm?

Because they always take things littorally

Kleptomaniac Jokes More Kleptomaniac Jokes

Why did the kleptomaniac spend so much time in Bed Bath and Beyond?

He was taking a sheet.

Why don't kleptomaniacs understand puns?

They always take things literally.