What has two thumbs and doesn't understand jokes that require a visual component?

This guy!

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How do you know if a guy has an Asian wife?

He'll tell you.

Who has one thumb and survived a band saw accident?

This guy!!!

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What do you call an unconscious foot?

Coma-toes! (I made up this joke when I was 10.)

What did the fish say when it crashed into a wall?

Damn! (This is my go-to joke that someone told me in highschool like 7 years ago. Felt like sharing it.)

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How do trains from different countries understand each other?

With a trainslator

What if a third team came and attacked these two teams?

My daughter, not understanding football/making football more awesome

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Why did the T-Rex's girlfriend leave him?

Because he said he only loved her this much (hold out t-rex like arms) Sorry this one requires a bit of a visual, but I thought you guys might like it

What's the difference between Tinder and the PokemonGo app?

Nothing, it both requires swiping to find monsters in your area.

Thumb Jokes More Thumb Jokes

Where does the thumb meet its type?

At the SPACE BAR! reddit is fun! I'm staring at the keyboard tryin' to think up a joke and voila'!

Why do you have your thumb on my steak?

So I don't drop it again, Sir.