Understand Jokes

Why didn't the approaching black hole concern the astronaut?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

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What did Peyton say to his younger brother when he didn't understand him?

Eli5

What did the doctor say to the man who walked off the roof of his house?

I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation.

Why couldn't the scientist understand what the photon was saying?

Because the photon was incoherent.

Why are sea sponges good at statistics?

They understand coralations!

What do you call a kleptomaniac who doesn't understand figurative speech?

Someone who takes everything literally

Why can nobody understand sausages when they talk???

Because they speak in tongs. I'll show myself the door

Why don't you see many chemists with master's degrees working with acids and bases?

To really understand acids and bases, you need a pHd.

Why do thieves have such a hard time understanding sarcasm?

They take things literally

Why did Plato's worst student always have stuff stuck in his teeth?

He didn't understand Flossophy!

Why doesn't Dwayne Johnson's downstairs neighbor understand references to current events?

He's been living under The Rock.

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How do trains from different countries understand each other?

With a trainslator

Why couldn't the physicist understand how boats work?

He thought nothing could possibly travel faster than sea.

What do you call empathetic bovine?

Understand bull

Why is a change machine easy to understand?

It makes cents.

What did the black hole say to the pulsar?

I don't think you understand the gravity of your situation

Why did the liontamer stop using WinZip?

Because lions only understand.rars

What has two thumbs and doesn't understand jokes that require a visual component?

This guy!

What did the thunder say when it understood the joke?

I feel so enlightninged!

What kind of bee can't be understood?

A mumble bee!

Why Couldn't Anyone Understand The Mute Mathematician's?

They didn't speak sine language.

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What do you call a grandpa who couldn't understand why his email wanted to upload his attachment to share it?

An old man yelling at the cloud

Who's there! Cat! Cat who?

Cat you understand!

What kind of bee can never be understood?

A mumble-bee.

How are your English lessons coming along?

Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me.

Why use words you don't understand in your tweets?

It just makes you look photosynthesis.

Why did the student fail his physics test?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

What do you call a bee that has been run over by a car?

Bee flat Music joke for those who don't understand. B flat is a note.

Why don't kleptomaniacs understand metaphors?

Because they take everything, literally.

What did phenolphthalein do when he couldn't understand his Chemistry homework?

He just added Acetic Acid until it became clear.

What do you get if you cross a Sociologist with someone in the Mafia?

An offer you can't understand.

What thoughts do Blondes have after reading these jokes?

None as usual... and they most likely didn't understand them either.

Why do Soviets use lowercase letters?

Because they don't understand CAPitalism

When using the equation Y=1-T to understand how citizens react to changes in taxation...what happens when T&gt1?

Alot of T gets dumped in a harbor

Whatchya thinking about?

Me: *Thinking about how dogs understand more English words than I understand dog words* Science stuff.

What do you call a cross between... a Mafia Don and post-modernism?

An offer you can't understand.

Why do men like blonde jokes?

Because they can understand them.

Why is it hard for men to understand women?

Because you have to study abroad to understand them.

Why couldn't the monk who flew a helicopter understand the monk who flew commercial jets?

Because he was on a higher plane.

What did one deodorant say to the other?

I can't understand you, your axe scent is too strong.

Why don't kleptomaniacs understand puns?

They always take things literally.

What's the definition of an accountant?

Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

What is a World Series?

I don't expect you to understand son, you are just a Cub

To understand what recursion is...

You must first understand what recursion is

There are 10 types of people in this world...

Those who understand binary and those who don't

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Struggle Jokes More Struggle Jokes

What color are apples?

BOBO THE GORILLA: (signing) Please free me from this prison ME: (writing) Still struggling with colors

What's one thing The Hulk would struggle tearing down?

The fourth wall

Statistic Jokes More Statistic Jokes

Why are sea sponges good at statistics?

They understand coralations!

Why is statistics never anyone's favorite subject?

It's just average.

Young Brother Jokes More Young Brother Jokes

What did Peyton say to his younger brother when he didn't understand him?

Eli5

What did Peyton Manning said to his younger brother about the new NFL rule?

ELI5 (explain me like I am five)

Funniest Jokes More Funniest Jokes

What is the funniest two legged lizard?

The stand-up chameleon.

How do you order a bill in Australian restaurant?

Cheque, mate! --- Maybe not the funniest buy posting because: My. My own. My precious...

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What do you call a scientific measuring instrument with degrees?

A graduated cylinder. This is the only joke I've ever thought of.

What is a Brit's favorite letter?

You'd think it would be "T", but it is "U". *Favourite, btw.

English Man Jokes More English Man Jokes

How are your English lessons coming along?

Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What do you call a beach with crooked waves?

OC A Scoli-ocean! (Came up with that recently, hope it tickles your funny bone)

What do colorblind people say to the unexpected?

Well that came out of the purple

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?

Nothing, you've already told her twice.

Why should you always bring 2 pair of trousers when golfing?

In case you get a hole in one.