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Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security?

Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What kind of cheese?

Me: "American..." Her: "Want it toasted " Me: "I'll just make it myself."

Why did the vegan avoid the confrontation?

He didn't want any beef.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why couldn't the man be bothered to look at the origami mountains?

Because it was pay-per view.* "paper view"

What did the empty beer bottle say to the other beer bottle?

I'm just not hoppy anymore man

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What's the only thing better than a gold medal at the Paralympics?

Legs

How do I stay humble?

Well, it's not easy, but I start by being generally bad at almost all things.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What are your go to jokes?

I was at an event the other day and someone asked "So... anyone know any jokes?" What's everyone's "go to" joke in social situations?

What time of day is it in France right now?

Mourning

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why hasn't there been a woman on the moon yet?

It doesn't need cleaned.

How do you pick up women in Waco, Texas?

With a DustBuster.

Approach Jokes More Approach Jokes

What's the best angle to approach any challenge?

Try-Angle.

How did the dog warn its master that a Gorilla was approaching?

He barked g-r-r-r-illa!

Security Jokes More Security Jokes

Who are the real Guardians of the Galaxy?

Security at Samsung.

Why did the door to door sales man get nervous and run away?

He was selling In-Security Heh yeah i dunno i thought it up in a dream and I'm still half asleep bye