Security Jokes

Throw a bunch of pocket change in the middle of town. How do u tell who is the richest person in that village? Find the person who gathered the most change.

Why didn't you stop when I shouted at you back there?

Motorist: I thought you were saying "Good morning Mr. Mayor." Cop: Right. I wanted to warn you about going too fast through the next town.

Security Guard Jokes More Security Guard Jokes

What do you call a security guard in a jumping castle?

A Bouncer

What do you call the security guards outside a Samsung factory?

Guardians of the Galaxy

Cavity Search Jokes More Cavity Search Jokes

Why did the TSA hire a dentist?

To help with the cavity searches

What is the scariest part of a cavity search?

When they put both their hands on your shoulders but keep searching

Firefighter Jokes More Firefighter Jokes

How much for this aggressive bottle of water?

FIREFIGHTER: Sir that's a hydrant

What kind of gun does a firefighter have?

A water gun.

Security Jokes

What do you call the security at a Samsung store?

Love

Why do donut shops not hire security?

Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security?

Why didn't the TSA let the chair through security?

What do you call the security outside of a Samsung Store?

Who are the real Guardians of the Galaxy?

Why did the door to door sales man get nervous and run away?

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What did airport security tell the Dentist?

Why was the actor detained by airport security?

What do you call a man with a spade on his head?

What did the man say to the bee who wanted to learn the alphabet?

What did one Egyptian say to the other Egyptian after they both farted?

What do you say when you get swindled by an Egyptian tour guide?

Who Conquers All *obviously, this is read in the man's grizzled voice* What's the difference between your mother and a motorcycle?

Why did the computer get a virus?

How do u tell the population of a small native village?