Security Jokes

What do you call the security at a Samsung store?

Guardians of the Galaxy, or firefighters.

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Why do donut shops not hire security?

Because Cops go there willingly. Free security and protection.

Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security?

Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.

Why didn't the TSA let the chair through security?

It was armed.

What do you call the security outside of a Samsung Store?

Guardians of the Galaxy.

Who are the real Guardians of the Galaxy?

Security at Samsung.

Why did the door to door sales man get nervous and run away?

He was selling In-Security Heh yeah i dunno i thought it up in a dream and I'm still half asleep bye

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Pilot Jokes More Pilot Jokes

Why did the 2 contractors hire a pilot to help survey their land?

Because they really wanted a third's eye view!

What kind of pizza do pilots like?

Plain.

Airport Security Jokes More Airport Security Jokes

Why was the actor detained by airport security?

He said he was in town to shoot a pilot.

What did airport security tell the Dentist?

We need to give you a cavity search

Airport Jokes More Airport Jokes

Where do you hide an airport?

IN PLANE SIGHT!

What happened when the communists took over the airport?

The planes kept Stalin.

Samsung Store Jokes More Samsung Store Jokes

What do you call the security outside of a Samsung Store?

Guardians of the Galaxy.

What do you call a group of security guards in front of a Samsung store?

Guardians of the Galaxy.

Detain Jokes More Detain Jokes

Why was the actor detained by airport security?

He said he was in town to shoot a pilot.

Where do we keep our thoughts detained?

In brain cells!

Cop Jokes More Cop Jokes

Why do donut shops not hire security?

Because Cops go there willingly. Free security and protection.

What do the cops do when they get a fly infestation?

Call in the swat team!

Shop Jokes More Shop Jokes

Where will a springer spaniel never shop?

At a flea market!

Where do psychopaths shop?

In sainsburys

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What did the man say when he couldn't get the gun to fire?

Looks like I'm gonna have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual.

Why was the actor detained by airport security?

He said he was in town to shoot a pilot.