Security Jokes

What do you call the security at a Samsung store?

Guardians of the Galaxy, or firefighters.

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Why do donut shops not hire security?

Because Cops go there willingly. Free security and protection.

Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security?

Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.

Why didn't the TSA let the chair through security?

It was armed.

What do you call the security outside of a Samsung Store?

Guardians of the Galaxy.

Who are the real Guardians of the Galaxy?

Security at Samsung.

Why did the door to door sales man get nervous and run away?

He was selling In-Security Heh yeah i dunno i thought it up in a dream and I'm still half asleep bye

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China Jokes More China Jokes

How do you get a job with Apple?

Be born in China.

Why did the Chinese Government cross the road?

THE PUNCHLINE OF THIS JOKE HAS BEEN CENSORED BY THE GOVERNMENT OF THE PEOPLES REPUBLIC OF CHINA, PLEASE REMAIN CALM WHILE WE WILL DEAL WITH THE OP IN A CIVIL MANNER.

New Year Eve Jokes More New Year Eve Jokes

What do you call always having a date for New Year's Eve?

Social Security.

What song do pigs sing on New Year's Eve?

Auld Lang Swine.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What seperates man from animal?

Divorce!

What do you call a man who used to like tractors?

An extractor fan!

Los Angeles Jokes More Los Angeles Jokes

What happens when the smog/fog/smoke over Los Angeles lifts?

You see L.A.

When people go to ask me "hey man, are you from Los Angeles?

I'll be like "nah dude,I just really like the French feminine definite article"

Samsung Jokes More Samsung Jokes

Why did Samsung call it the Galaxy Note 7?

Because "Kindle" was taken.

What do you call a group of security guards in front of a Samsung store?

Guardians of the Galaxy.

Samsung Store Jokes More Samsung Store Jokes

What do you call a group of security guards in front of a Samsung store?

Guardians of the Galaxy.

What do you call the security outside of a Samsung Store?

Guardians of the Galaxy.

Airport Security Jokes More Airport Security Jokes

Why was the actor detained by airport security?

He said he was in town to shoot a pilot.

What did airport security tell the Dentist?

We need to give you a cavity search

Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

Why did the barracuda want to hire the clown fish's anemone?

Because the barracuda believed that "anemone of my enemy is a friend."

How do you hire a horse?

Put a brick under each hoof!