Security Jokes

What do you call the security at a Samsung store?

Guardians of the Galaxy, or firefighters.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Why do donut shops not hire security?

Because Cops go there willingly. Free security and protection.

Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security?

Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.

Why didn't the TSA let the chair through security?

It was armed.

What do you call the security outside of a Samsung Store?

Guardians of the Galaxy.

Who are the real Guardians of the Galaxy?

Security at Samsung.

Why did the door to door sales man get nervous and run away?

He was selling In-Security Heh yeah i dunno i thought it up in a dream and I'm still half asleep bye

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Los Angeles Jokes More Los Angeles Jokes

How bad is my career?

I met a homeless guy on the beach in Los Angeles & thought "Wow this guy has it made"

When people go to ask me "hey man, are you from Los Angeles?

I'll be like "nah dude,I just really like the French feminine definite article"

China Jokes More China Jokes

What's the name of China's new atmosphere-cleanup program?

The Desolation of Smog.

What do you call someone who has ancestry back to China but is a 2nd generation US citizen and is a professional bodybuilder?

Ben Ching.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What's the difference between a psychologist and a groundskeeper?

One you need for a rough patch, the other you need to patch your rough.

How many super sayen do you need to change a bulb?

Only one, but it take 4 episodes and Krilin died at the end.

Shop Jokes More Shop Jokes

Where does Darth Vader go shopping?

The Darth mall! haha, funny joke.

Why did the butcher work extra hours at the shop?

To make ends meat.

Egyptian Jokes More Egyptian Jokes

What do you call an Egyptian bone-setter?

Cairo-practor.

What did the ancient Egyptian cheerleader chant?

THERE IS ONE GOD, HE IS THE SUN GOD! RA! RA! RA!

Cavity Search Jokes More Cavity Search Jokes

What is the scariest part of a cavity search?

When they put both their hands on your shoulders but keep searching

What did airport security tell the Dentist?

We need to give you a cavity search

Alarm Jokes More Alarm Jokes

What's the difference between an expensive purchase and a loud noise that scares a chicken?

One costs an arm and a leg. The other caused alarm and an egg.

How do you know you're getting old?

When you exit a museum, you trigger the alarm.

Galaxy Jokes More Galaxy Jokes

Where do galaxies go to college?

University! Happy 1st day back to school to many of you

Why did Yoda need a stepladder in the chocolate shop?

Because he was reaching for a galaxy far, far away.