Cop Jokes

What do you call a midget psychic running from the cops?

A small medium at large!

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Which cop writes poems about ravens?

Edgar Allan Po-Po

How many cops does it take the screw in a lightbulb?

The same number it takes to screw public confidence in law enforcement

Why did the cop stink?

Because he fell asleep on duty.

Why do cops make good farmers?

They're good at planting evidence.

What is the biggest obstacle in getting rich quickly?

Cops

Why couldn't the cop save the hippie from drowning?

He was too far out man

Why do donut shops not hire security?

Because Cops go there willingly. Free security and protection.

Why didn't the cops ever charge Abraham Lincoln?

Because he was always in a cent.

Why can't the cops keep calm and carry on?

Because they carry guns instead

What do the cops do when they get a fly infestation?

Call in the swat team!

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Why did the cop pull over the U-Haul truck?

He was trying to bust a move

What did the donut say to the cop?

Don't taste me, bro!

Why did the cop wake up his son?

To stop a kid napping.

Why did the cops show up at the elementary school?

A 1st grader was resisting a rest.

Why did the cop climb the tree?

He worked for a special branch.

What did the cop say to the doughnut as he ate it?

Rest in **police**.

When a cop pulls you over and asks, "Papers?

Answer "Scissors." then drive away..

When the cop asks you "Do you know how fast you were going?

Do NOT respond with "I know, right!"

Why do the cops monitor the store that sells upper-case letters for computers?

It's a shifty business.

What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?

Officer on doody.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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How do I know you're not a cop -If I was a cop would I do this?

Starts breakdancing* Thats not as much proof as you think it is

What did the eggs say when the cops showed up?

Everybody scramble!

What does a libertarian apparition say to the cops?

Am I free to ghost

What's in the bottle?

Me: "It's water." Cop: "This is wine." Me: "What! That Jesus! He did it again!"

What did the painting on the wall say to the cop?

I've been framed!

What did the doughnut say to the cop?

Don't glaze me, bro

Why aren't you allowed to smile when taking your driver IDs?

Because you won't be smiling when the cops pull you over.

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Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Why did you stop your car get out and yell "coward" at the traffic signal?

Motorist: The light just turned yellow.

Why did Walt Disney visit a mechanic?

He wanted to get his Car tuned

British Jokes More British Jokes

What did Gandhi say to the British, after they asked him to move?

Nah, mastay

What did the British proton say after 5 cups of coffee?

I feel positively charged!

Break Jokes More Break Jokes

How did the stem cell break it to his girl?

It's not you it's me*iosis* Could probably do with some work on deliver as I made it 5 minutes ago

What do you call a story about a broken-down computer mouse?

Depressing. **crickets**

Expose Jokes More Expose Jokes

What do you call an insect that gets exposed to radiation but nothing of consequence happens to it?

A moot ant

What's happens to gold when it is exposed to the air?

Pupil: It's stolen!

Leap Jokes More Leap Jokes

Black Man Jokes More Black Man Jokes

Why are Batman and black man different?

Bat man can go a whole night without robin

What's the difference between Black man, and Batman?

Batman can go in a convenience store without Robbin.

White Cop Jokes More White Cop Jokes

German Jokes More German Jokes

How do you greet a German baker?

Gluten Tag

How does a German call an Irishman?

Komm, Sean!