What's in the bottle?

Me: "It's water." Cop: "This is wine." Me: "What! That Jesus! He did it again!"

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Water Jokes More Water Jokes

Where can you find an ocean without any water?

On a map!

Why was the fish swimming backwards?

It didn't want to get water in its eyes.

Damn Jokes More Damn Jokes

What did Shakespeare say when his dog messed up the carpet?

Out, damned spot! Out, I say!"*

What did the fish say when it hit the wall?

Dam.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

How did Jesus feel when they crucified him?

He was cross.

Why is Jesus so rich?

Because Jesus saves.

Wine Jokes More Wine Jokes

Why didn't Isaac Newton drink wine?

He knew better than to drink and derive.

What's the big deal about Jesus turning water into wine?

I turned MY student loans into vodka...

Cop Jokes More Cop Jokes

Why did the cop stink?

Because he fell asleep on duty.

What did the painting on the wall say to the cop?

I've been framed!

Bottle Jokes More Bottle Jokes

How do you react to the fragrance of a bottle of wine from the year 2000?

Smells like teen spirit.

What did the bottle of milk say to the Mexican?

Soy milk.