Why didn't Isaac Newton drink wine?

He knew better than to drink and derive.

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?

The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."

Why can't the Transistor drink any more coffee?

Because it keeps Peein' n peein'

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How many times do I have to tell you this Mom?

I have thousands of fans who need to know my thoughts. So, no I can't take out the garbage.

How do you know if the moon is waxing or waning?

If it's waning you'll get weally weally wet.

Wine Jokes More Wine Jokes

What does an alcoholic do when he is out of beer?

Wine

What's the big deal about Jesus turning water into wine?

I turned MY student loans into vodka...

Derive Jokes More Derive Jokes

Why do they never serve a beer at math party?

Because you can't drink and derive

Why did the mathematician quit his job and join NASCAR?

They told him he was good at deriving

Isaac Newton Jokes More Isaac Newton Jokes

What happened when Isaac Newton met the apple?

He found the apple was a surprisingly down-to-Earth kinda guy.

Why is there no Asian Isaac Newton?

He sat under the durian tree.