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What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing! They just WAVED. SEA what I did there? I'm SHORE you did. Let MINNOW if you are not getting it. SHELL I continue?? No?.. I guess I'll stop WHALE I'm ahead. Thanks ladies and gentlefish

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What is the difference between a Mother and Wife?

One woman brings you into this world crying and the other ensures you continue to do so.

Why do mathematicians only count up to 287?

Because if they count one more it would be 2gross to continue.

What do you call a person who continues to touch up on something that is already perfect, and thus ruining whatever it was?

George Lucas.

What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

How does a woman apologize to a man?

I'm sorry, but it's your fault.

Why is it hard for men to understand women?

Because you have to study abroad to understand them.

Respond Jokes More Respond Jokes

What's worse: ignorance or indifference?

Johnny", responds his dad, " I neither know nor care." Edit: granma grammar.

What's your favorite kind of music?

Asked one windmill to another. The windmill responds, "I'm a metal fan."

Close Jokes More Close Jokes

How'd you sleep last night?

Son says: "umm... With my eyes closed " Edit: This actually happened btw. Probably funnier irl.

Why is being a politician more difficult than being a ventriloquist?

Ventriloquists have to be able to speak with their mouths closed. Politicians speak out of both sides of their mouths simultaneously.

Sea Jokes More Sea Jokes

What did the sea say to the river?

You can run but you can't tide!

Why do whales have really good immune systems?

They consume a lot of vitamin SEA!

Trench Coat Jokes More Trench Coat Jokes

Clothe Jokes More Clothe Jokes

Why are clothes so expensive?

I shouldn't have to pay so much to not be naked. Other people should pay me not to be naked.

How many TSA agents does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. TSA agents only know how to remove clothes putting them on is different matter completely.

Expose Jokes More Expose Jokes

What do you call an insect that gets exposed to radiation but nothing of consequence happens to it?

A moot ant

What's happens to gold when it is exposed to the air?

Pupil: It's stolen!

Leap Jokes More Leap Jokes