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What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing! They just WAVED. SEA what I did there? I'm SHORE you did. Let MINNOW if you are not getting it. SHELL I continue?? No?.. I guess I'll stop WHALE I'm ahead. Thanks ladies and gentlefish

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What can happen when a car breaks down?

A woman's car breaks down on a busy highway. She manages to ease it over to the shoulder and gets out and opens the trunk. Immediately two men clothed only in trench coats leap out and begin to open and close their coats, exposing themselves to the oncoming traffic. Pretty soon a police officer stops. "What's going on here?" the cop asks. "My car just broke down," the woman responds. "NO, I mean those two guys," the cop continues. "Oh," the woman replies, "they're just my emergency flashers."

What is the difference between a Mother and Wife?

One woman brings you into this world crying and the other ensures you continue to do so.

What do you call a blonde in the freezer?

Her parents named her Cindy so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.

Why do mathematicians only count up to 287?

Because if they count one more it would be 2gross to continue.

What do you call a person who continues to touch up on something that is already perfect, and thus ruining whatever it was?

George Lucas.

Where does Lance Armstrong go to continue his education?

Http://cms.bsu.edu/

What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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Begin Jokes More Begin Jokes

Why are thedonald users not cucks?

First of all you'd need a girlfriend to begin with.

Why did the elephant jump in the lake when it began to rain?

To stop getting wet!

Sea Jokes More Sea Jokes

What did the one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing they just waved! Did you sea what I did there I'm shore you did, beach.

What was the blond doing in the middle of the sea?

Bouncing on a buoy (boy)

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How is Bill Cosby like an environment at 0 Kelvin?

When around both, one eventually stops moving. Forgive me.

Why do blondes wear green lipstick?

Because red means stop.

Shoulder Jokes More Shoulder Jokes

What is the scariest part of a cavity search?

When they put both their hands on your shoulders but keep searching

What can happen when a car breaks down?

A woman's car breaks down on a busy highway. She manages to ease it over to the shoulder and gets out and opens the trunk. Immediately two men clothed only in trench coats leap out and begin to open and close their coats, exposing themselves to the oncoming traffic. Pretty soon a police officer stops. "What's going on here?" the cop asks. "My car just broke down," the woman responds. "NO, I mean those two guys," the cop continues. "Oh," the woman replies, "they're just my emergency flashers."

Break Jokes More Break Jokes

What do you call a psychic midget that broke out of jail?

A small medium at large

Why did the football player laugh when he broke his arm?

Because it was humerus.

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

What's the wheel for?

The pirate replies, "Arrr it's drivin me nuts!"

What's he like?

Asked the police officer sympathetically. The boy replied, "Beer and women."

Manage Jokes More Manage Jokes

Why didn't Tarzan and Jane manage to save their marriage?

Because Tarzan was swingin' from three to three.

Why did the bacteriologist quit her job?

She hated being microbe-managed.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

How do you prove that your dog loves you more than your wife?

Lock them both in the trunk of the car for an hour, then open it up and see which one of them is happier to see you.

What key do you need to open a banana?

A monkey