How'd you sleep last night?

Son says: "umm... With my eyes closed " Edit: This actually happened btw. Probably funnier irl.

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened to you?

PATIENT:I am going to die in a minute. DOCTOR:wait I am coming with in five minutes.

What happened when Dumbo went to a mindrreader?

They gave him his money back.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why were you late?

Sorry teacher I overslept. You mean you need to sleep at home too!

What does a Maple leaf fan do when they win the cup?

Turn off their console and go to sleep.

Close Jokes More Close Jokes

Why did the man shut his donut shop?

Why did the man close his donut shop...because he was fed up with the hole business!

Why did the boy close his eyes before opening the refrigerator?

He didn't want to see the salad dressing.

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What did the anti-vaccer say to her son?

I miss you.

Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?

Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken " Mother: "We need the eggs."

Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

Who's the laziest doctor at the hospital?

Doctor Dolittle

How good are you with Microsoft PowerPoint?

I Excel at it." "Did you just make a Microsoft Office pun, sir " "Word." Edit: thanks u/SteveJobsiGhost

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What happens when skin touches skin, hair touches hair, and Balls Disappear?

You Blink Your Eyes.

What do you call the injury a black guy gets after he gets punched in the eye?

Uh...a blacker eye?

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

Why doesn't anyone in insert nations capital use the toilet in the morning?

So they have something to do at night.

What animal has more lives than a cat?

A frog. It croaks every night.