Son says: "umm... With my eyes closed " Edit: This actually happened btw. Probably funnier irl.
They're made to feel like the smallest person in the world.
The downfall of Turkey, the break-up of China, and the overthrow of Greece.
Husband: Only you, Honey. With everyone else, I was awake.
At yeast he's a fungi.
You have to deal with people who forget to close their tabs.
The son says,"Nice try dad, a chair!" "Not this time son, our dog is dead"
Jesus
Me, when I remember to floss once a month. Edit: account got hacked and showed something different. Sorry about that
Johnny", responds his dad, " I neither know nor care." Edit: granma grammar.
Three men in a house with dirty dishes in the sink, laundry that needs to be folded and kids that need a bath
A smart woman or a beautiful woman -Neither sweetie, you know I only have eyes for you
A double bridle
Some guy sitting up all night wondering if there really is a dog
