What did the overbearing mother melon say to her son and his girlfriend?

You Cantaloupe.

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What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?

I love you a ton!

What rhymes with Pistorius?

His girlfriend certainly ain't Morpheus.

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What did the anti-vaccer say to her son?

I miss you.

What is the extreme limit of laziness?

Son "Having an adopted son."

Cantaloupe Jokes More Cantaloupe Jokes

Why do melons always have traditional weddings?

They cantaloupe.

Why are melons so lonely?

Because they cantaloupe