Son Jokes

What did the buffalo say before his son left for school?

Bison

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Why don't you talk to John anymore, you used to be best friends?

Son: Well, would you be friends with someone who was stupid, took drugs and was drunk all the time? Mom: No, Never! Son: Well neither would he!

What has four legs and isn't alive?

Son: "nice try, a chair!" Dad: "Nope. Our dog just died."

Where does Kanye West like to go with his son?

North West

What did Bruce Willis say to motivate his son?

Son, if at first you don't succeed, Try Hard. If that doesn't work, Try Hard 2. If that still doesn't work, Try Hard with a Vengeance. Remember, you can't pick between the choice to Live Free or Try Hard. They go together. Everyday's A Good Day to Try Hard.

What did Noah tell his son while they were fishing?

Better get this right, I only have 2 worms.

What does the son of God do when he is the victim of medical malpractice?

Jesus

What did Jos name his son?

Hose B

What did the buffalo say to his son who's leaving for college?

Bison.

What did the Mexican fire chief name his two sons?

Jose and Hose "B."

Why is Darth Vader black?

Because he left his son.

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How do you call sons of australians and germans?

Men at Work

What do you call a person without a son?

Per

What do you call a spy that likes to spend time with his son?

James Bonding bah dun tss

What did the black man get for his son on Christmas?

Your bike.

What does Michael J Fox do when his son parks in his space?

He Park in son's space

What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons?

Jos and Josb

Which joke has the maximum HOT Nuns in it?

You don't know none.. And here to learn one.. So when you are with your friends.. Or walking with your son.. Tell them reddit jokes.. thinking now they would listen... (to you) play it cool, play it slow.. No need to blow.. Take this further, take this far.. till sang by a star. (Improvise it as you like, don't care about the grammar. No rapper does.)

What did the daddy salt say to his son?

Stop cracking your NaCles.

Why wasn't the son of God worried when Microsoft Word crashed while he was writing his term paper?

Because Jesus saves.

What did JayZ say to the theoretical mathematician?

I feel sorry for you son, I got 99 problems but you got imaginary ones

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Why are Mumford & Sons the only agnostic rock band?

Because they don't even know if they believe.

What did the buffalo say when dropping off his son at college?

Bison.

Where is Jennifer's husband?

Jennifer is 21 years older than her son Douglas. 6 years from now, Jennifer will be 5 times as old as Douglas. Question: Where is Jennifer's husband? Solution: J=D+21 J+6=5(D+6) According to my math, Douglas has 3/4 years, which means -9 months. Pregnancy lasts for nine months, so Jennifer's husband is in the bed with her right now. Sauce:

What did the Buffalo say to his son when he went off to college?

By son.

What's a GF?

Mom:if you are a good boy,you will get one when you're older. Son:What if i'm not a good boy? Mom:You'll get many.

What rhymes with 'boo' and really stinks?

You. Why I oughta...! Edit: Wow, thanks for all the love. My son is quite the character and he really caught me off guard with this!

How did the Neanderthal dad teach his son how to wear underwear?

Color coded: "Yellow in front, brown in the back"

What did the Mexican firefighter name his sons?

Jose and Hose B

What did the Mexican firefighter call his son??

Jose

What did the Mexican firefighter call his two sons?

Jos and Hose-B

Why did the sailor ground his son?

His grades were below sea level

What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at college?

Bi-son

What did the dad buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school?

Bison

What is the difference between confident and confidential?

Dad says: "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, THAT is confidential."

What did the buffalo say to his son who was going off to college?

Bison!

Why did the Greeks want Helen back so bad?

Are you kidding She was the most beautiful woman in the world! Can you imagine what her sons would of looked like

Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?

Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!

Whose son was Edward the Black Prince?

Old King Coal!

What did the Spanish fireman call his two sons?

Jose and Hoseb

What kind of jacket would Michael J. Fox wear if he was black?

OC A parka, son.

What did the potato name his son?

Chip. Sorry.

Why did the orange go to the doctor?

Because she wasn't peeling very well... All credit to my 8 yo son who suggested I post it here

What did Jose name his son?

Hose B

What do you get when you elect Bernie Sander's son as president?

A son Bern

Why did the Dad divorce his wife after she named their son?

She named him Oedipus.

Who's the best Mom ever?

Son: Oprah! Me: Gimme the damn cookies back! Son: See Oprah GIVES, she doesn't take!

What did aged mother cheddar say to her son the day of school photos?

Looking sharp.

Why did the cop wake up his son?

To stop a kid napping.

Why put a baseball bat up when you can just lay it down on a stair in the middle of the stairway?

What could go wrong " My son apparently

What did the Mexican fire chief call his two sons?

Jose and josB (Hose A &amp Hose B)

What did the son corn say to the mama corn?

Where's pop corn

What did the Oxen say to his son moving out?

Bison

What is the difference between Napoleon and his son?

One is a Bonaparte from the other.

What did the overbearing mother melon say to her son and his girlfriend?

You Cantaloupe.

What did the teacher think of your idea?

Son: She took it like a lamb Teacher: Really what did she say Son: Baa!

What did the buffalo say to his boy before leaving for work?

Bye, son.

Why's the couch smell like pee?

Flashback to me watching The Ring alone Me: *points at son* I think someone had another "accident."

How'd you sleep last night?

Son says: "umm... With my eyes closed " Edit: This actually happened btw. Probably funnier irl.

Why did the mother of twins name both of her sons Edward?

Because two Eds are better than one.

Why is your January report card so bad?

Son: Well you know how it is. Things are always marked down after Christmas!

What do Hispanic parents say to teach their son to drive?

Jesus, take the wheel!

What did the man say to the priest at the beach?

Do you mind getting out of my son.

What did Einstein's dad say when he published his theory of relativity?

Damn, son. It's about time!

What did the pot-head name his son?

Bud.

How would you like to make a donation to our local orphanage?

Dad: yea sure yells up to me son, you live with this guy now!

What did quantum consciousness say to its son?

Your awareness differentiates to the expansion of experiences and freedom impacts the expression of the phenomena in reality to quantum belonging.

What did the buffalo say to his kid when he went off to college?

Bye, son.

What kind of dog is this?

Well actu.." "Hes cute" *pets it* "Sir thats my.." *picks it up* "Your a good dog arent you " "PUT MY SON DOWN"

What was the last thing Daedalus said to Icarus?

You've got a lot of potential, son.

What mom loves... Son: Mom, why is my cousin's name rose?

Mom: Well son, your aunt really loves flowers! Son: Mom, what do you love Mom: Richard, stop asking so many questions!

How did OJ respond when his son asked to borrow the car?

GtOnly if you go aks your mother.

What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school?

Bison

What's wrongdad?

Dad: I told you, my head hurts. Son: This is why mom left.

What is it son?

Son: Boys are gathering into our yard! Dad: ...How many boys Son: All of them... Dad: MY MILKSHAKES!

Why, Prince Stephen?

Son: Because you call me "Prince S" King: Haha yeah that never gets old

What has four legs but isn't alive?

The son says,"Nice try dad, a chair!" "Not this time son, our dog is dead"

What does a snowman say to his son on his birthday?

Happy Brr-day son!

Why is that my son?

Son: Because...Walking dead Intro/outro plays loud

What's the capital of Ohio?

Son: ... Me: It's also a famous explorer. Son: Dora Me: Yep. Dora, Ohio.

How is it when my son has homework,I have to be involved?

Dude,I already did my time.

What did the cheese maker say to his son after he dropped the cheese?

That's no whey to go through life, son.

What is the extreme limit of laziness?

Son "Having an adopted son."

What did the mountain climber name his son?

Cliff

When dad Waits to see you on thanks giving Son:We just Ate Dad:OK so you can be here at 5?

Son:We'll see Son:how does the turkey smell Dad: I guess through its Beak

What did the dad buffalo say to his son on the first day of school?

Bison

Which do you think I should take?

Whichever you'll excel in, son.

How do you like going to school?

Son: The going bit is fine as is the coming home bit too but I'm not too keen on the time in-between!

What did Kurtis Blow tell his son when teaching him how to drive?

THESE are the brakes!

How was your first day at school?

Son: It was all right except for some man called "Teacher" who kept spoiling all our fun!

Who names a kid after an activity?

Storms off w/ his son, Kegger

What's the name of Michael J Fox's dry-cleaner?

Park and Sons. /Park en sons/ http://i157.photobucket.com/albums/t57/Thomzilla/Fazed/michaeljfoxshakennotstirred.gif

What did MC Hammer name his son?

Arman.

What did the ship captain say when his son learned to float?

That's my buoy!

What did the mom say when she found out her son was going to be a evil spy?

Abort mission!

Whenever we keep the money in the bags our son steals it, I don't know what to do?

Husband: Keep it in his books. I know he will never touch them....

What did the mom say to her son when he said he didn't want any of her flippin' pancakes?

Fine. They will just be burnt on one side.

What do you call the son of Kim Jong-Un?

Kim Jong-deux

What did Simon's dad, Paul, say to his son to encourage him just before he went to compete in the National Leg Breaking Championships?

Have a good one, son.

Where did our son go?

What son *Dad cries with joy

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What do you call people who use the pull out method?

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What can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long has a head on it and that women love so much that they often blow it?

A $20 bill