Son Jokes

What did the buffalo say before his son left for school?

Bison

Why don't you talk to John anymore, you used to be best friends?

Son: Well, would you be friends with someone who was stupid, took drugs and was drunk all the time? Mom: No, Never! Son: Well neither would he!

Why does everyone love Plato?

Because he loved Dogs and he had two sons named Plato and Socrates

What do you mean he's your half son?

What do you mean what do I mean?" replied the man. He went on to explain "My son has half my genes, that makes him my half-son." The woman he was talking to decided he was crazy and without replying walked past him. She looked back and noticed his neck was red, after all it was a sunny day.

How to scare parents?

Dad: "Can I see your report card, son?" Son: "I don't have it." Dad: "Why?" Son: "I gave it to my friend. He wanted to scare his parents."

What has four legs and isn't alive?

Son: "nice try, a chair!" Dad: "Nope. Our dog just died."

Where does Kanye West like to go with his son?

North West

How are a hobo and a balloon alike?

Both are without visible means of support. (My son found that in a children's joke book)

What did Bruce Willis say to motivate his son?

Son, if at first you don't succeed, Try Hard. If that doesn't work, Try Hard 2. If that still doesn't work, Try Hard with a Vengeance. Remember, you can't pick between the choice to Live Free or Try Hard. They go together. Everyday's A Good Day to Try Hard.

What did Noah tell his son while they were fishing?

Better get this right, I only have 2 worms.

What does the son of God do when he is the victim of medical malpractice?

Jesus

April Sale

We've Got This Love Thing Down

$5.99

What did Jos name his son?

Hose B

What did the dad say to Michael Jackson at the beach?

Get out of my son!

What did the buffalo say to his son who's leaving for college?

Bison.

What did the Mexican fire chief name his two sons?

Jose and Hose "B."

Why is Darth Vader black?

Because he left his son.

How do you call sons of australians and germans?

Men at Work

What do you call a person without a son?

Per

What do you call a spy that likes to spend time with his son?

James Bonding bah dun tss

What game does a black dad and son play forever?

Hide n' seek

Why does your son call you big brother?

Because he's your mom's kid.

April Sale

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

$14.99 $19.99

What did the black man get for his son on Christmas?

Your bike.

What does Michael J Fox do when his son parks in his space?

He Park in son's space

What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons?

Jos and Josb

Which joke has the maximum HOT Nuns in it?

You don't know none.. And here to learn one.. So when you are with your friends.. Or walking with your son.. Tell them reddit jokes.. thinking now they would listen... (to you) play it cool, play it slow.. No need to blow.. Take this further, take this far.. till sang by a star. (Improvise it as you like, don't care about the grammar. No rapper does.)

What did the daddy salt say to his son?

Stop cracking your NaCles.

Why wasn't the son of God worried when Microsoft Word crashed while he was writing his term paper?

Because Jesus saves.

What did JayZ say to the theoretical mathematician?

I feel sorry for you son, I got 99 problems but you got imaginary ones

Why are Mumford & Sons the only agnostic rock band?

Because they don't even know if they believe.

What did the SMG dad say to his son?

Bizon Joke by:

What did the buffalo say when dropping off his son at college?

Bison.

April Sale

Couple's Daily Question Mug

$14.99 $19.99

Where is Jennifer's husband?

Jennifer is 21 years older than her son Douglas. 6 years from now, Jennifer will be 5 times as old as Douglas. Question: Where is Jennifer's husband? Solution: J=D+21 J+6=5(D+6) According to my math, Douglas has 3/4 years, which means -9 months. Pregnancy lasts for nine months, so Jennifer's husband is in the bed with her right now. Sauce:

Whats faster then a Aboriginal with a TV?

His son with the xbox.

How does a woman go about inventing a lightbulb?

She gives birth to a son.

What did the Buffalo say to his son when he went off to college?

By son.

What's a GF?

Mom:if you are a good boy,you will get one when you're older. Son:What if i'm not a good boy? Mom:You'll get many.

What rhymes with 'boo' and really stinks?

You. Why I oughta...! Edit: Wow, thanks for all the love. My son is quite the character and he really caught me off guard with this!

How did the Neanderthal dad teach his son how to wear underwear?

Color coded: "Yellow in front, brown in the back"

What did the Mexican firefighter name his sons?

Jose and Hose B

What did the Mexican firefighter call his son??

Jose

What did the Mexican firefighter call his two sons?

Jos and Hose-B

Why do black people call each other "son"?

Well, you never know!

Why did the sailor ground his son?

His grades were below sea level

Why did the policeman wake up his son?

He saw a.

What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at college?

Bi-son

What did the dad buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school?

Bison

What did the guy say to MJ at the beach?

Get out of my son.

What is the difference between confident and confidential?

Dad says: "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, THAT is confidential.

What did the buffalo say to his son who was going off to college?

Bison!

What is the magic word?

Son: Natasha Dad: who is Natasha son: your lover Dad: do you need also a case

Why did the Greeks want Helen back so bad?

Are you kidding She was the most beautiful woman in the world! Can you imagine what her sons would of looked like

Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?

Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!

Whose son was Edward the Black Prince?

Old King Coal!

What did the Spanish fireman call his two sons?

Jose and Hoseb

What kind of jacket would Michael J. Fox wear if he was black?

OC A parka, son.

What did the potato name his son?

Chip. Sorry.

Why did the orange go to the doctor?

Because she wasn't peeling very well... All credit to my 8 yo son who suggested I post it here

What did Jose name his son?

Hose B

What do you get when you elect Bernie Sander's son as president?

A son Bern

Why did the Dad divorce his wife after she named their son?

She named him Oedipus.

Who's the best Mom ever?

Son: Oprah! Me: Gimme the damn cookies back! Son: See Oprah GIVES, she doesn't take!

What did aged mother cheddar say to her son the day of school photos?

Looking sharp.

Why did the cop wake up his son?

To stop a kid napping.

Why put a baseball bat up when you can just lay it down on a stair in the middle of the stairway?

What could go wrong " My son apparently

What did the Mexican fire chief call his two sons?

Jose and josB (Hose A &amp Hose B)

What did the son corn say to the mama corn?

Where's pop corn

What did the Oxen say to his son moving out?

Bison

What is the difference between Napoleon and his son?

One is a Bonaparte from the other.

What did the overbearing mother melon say to her son and his girlfriend?

You Cantaloupe.

What did the two stoners do with their son when they divorced?

They put him under joint custody.

What did the teacher think of your idea?

Son: She took it like a lamb Teacher: Really what did she say Son: Baa!

Why does Mommy always say no?

Well Son, if Mommy said yes all the time you'd have 20 more siblings.

What did the buffalo say to his boy before leaving for work?

Bye, son.

Why's the couch smell like pee?

Flashback to me watching The Ring alone Me: *points at son* I think someone had another "accident."

How'd you sleep last night?

Son says: "umm... With my eyes closed " Edit: This actually happened btw. Probably funnier irl.

Why did the mother of twins name both of her sons Edward?

Because two Eds are better than one.

Why is your January report card so bad?

Son: Well you know how it is. Things are always marked down after Christmas!

What do Hispanic parents say to teach their son to drive?

Jesus, take the wheel!

What did the man say to the priest at the beach?

Do you mind getting out of my son.

What did Einstein's dad say when he published his theory of relativity?

Damn, son. It's about time!

What did the pot-head name his son?

Bud.

How would you like to make a donation to our local orphanage?

Dad: yea sure yells up to me son, you live with this guy now!

What did quantum consciousness say to its son?

Your awareness differentiates to the expansion of experiences and freedom impacts the expression of the phenomena in reality to quantum belonging.

What did the buffalo say to his kid when he went off to college?

Bye, son.

What kind of dog is this?

Well actu.." "Hes cute" *pets it* "Sir thats my.." *picks it up* "Your a good dog arent you " "PUT MY SON DOWN"

Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?

Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken " Mother: "We need the eggs."

What is that son of yours doing these days?

2nd Monster: He's at medical school. 1st Monster: Oh what's he studying 2nd Monster: Nothing they're studying him!

What was the last thing Daedalus said to Icarus?

You've got a lot of potential, son.

What happened to your car?

SON: Transmission is shot. Reverse doesn't work. DAD: Well... SON: Don't- DAD: There's no going back now

What mom loves... Son: Mom, why is my cousin's name rose?

Mom: Well son, your aunt really loves flowers! Son: Mom, what do you love Mom: Richard, stop asking so many questions!

How did OJ respond when his son asked to borrow the car?

GtOnly if you go aks your mother.

What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school?

Bison

What's wrongdad?

Dad: I told you, my head hurts. Son: This is why mom left.

What is it son?

Son: Boys are gathering into our yard! Dad: ...How many boys Son: All of them... Dad: MY MILKSHAKES!

Why, Prince Stephen?

Son: Because you call me "Prince S" King: Haha yeah that never gets old

What has four legs but isn't alive?

The son says,"Nice try dad, a chair!" "Not this time son, our dog is dead"

What does a snowman say to his son on his birthday?

Dad joke) Happy Brr-day son!

Why is that my son?

Son: Because...Walking dead Intro/outro plays loud

What's the capital of Ohio?

Son: ... Me: It's also a famous explorer. Son: Dora Me: Yep. Dora, Ohio.

How is it when my son has homework,I have to be involved?

Dude,I already did my time.

You might also enjoy:

Question Jokes More Question Jokes

Son Jokes

What did the buffalo say before his son left for school?

Birthday State of Mind

Why don't you talk to John anymore, you used to be best friends?

Why does everyone love Plato?

What do you mean he's your half son?

How to scare parents?

What has four legs and isn't alive?

Where does Kanye West like to go with his son?

How are a hobo and a balloon alike?

What did Bruce Willis say to motivate his son?

What did Noah tell his son while they were fishing?

What does the son of God do when he is the victim of medical malpractice?

We've Got This Love Thing Down

What did Jos name his son?

What did the dad say to Michael Jackson at the beach?

What did the buffalo say to his son who's leaving for college?

What did the Mexican fire chief name his two sons?

Why is Darth Vader black?

How do you call sons of australians and germans?

What do you call a person without a son?

What do you call a spy that likes to spend time with his son?

What game does a black dad and son play forever?

Why does your son call you big brother?

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What did the black man get for his son on Christmas?

What does Michael J Fox do when his son parks in his space?

What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons?

Which joke has the maximum HOT Nuns in it?

What did the daddy salt say to his son?

Why wasn't the son of God worried when Microsoft Word crashed while he was writing his term paper?

What did JayZ say to the theoretical mathematician?

Why are Mumford & Sons the only agnostic rock band?

What did the SMG dad say to his son?

What did the buffalo say when dropping off his son at college?

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Where is Jennifer's husband?

Whats faster then a Aboriginal with a TV?

How does a woman go about inventing a lightbulb?

What did the Buffalo say to his son when he went off to college?

What's a GF?

What rhymes with 'boo' and really stinks?

How did the Neanderthal dad teach his son how to wear underwear?

What did the Mexican firefighter name his sons?

What did the Mexican firefighter call his son??

What did the Mexican firefighter call his two sons?

Why do black people call each other "son"?

Why did the sailor ground his son?

Why did the policeman wake up his son?

What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at college?

What did the dad buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school?

What did the guy say to MJ at the beach?

What is the difference between confident and confidential?

What did the buffalo say to his son who was going off to college?

What is the magic word?

Why did the Greeks want Helen back so bad?

Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?

Whose son was Edward the Black Prince?

What did the Spanish fireman call his two sons?

What kind of jacket would Michael J. Fox wear if he was black?

What did the potato name his son?

Why did the orange go to the doctor?

What did Jose name his son?

What do you get when you elect Bernie Sander's son as president?

Why did the Dad divorce his wife after she named their son?

Who's the best Mom ever?

What did aged mother cheddar say to her son the day of school photos?

Why did the cop wake up his son?

Why put a baseball bat up when you can just lay it down on a stair in the middle of the stairway?

What did the Mexican fire chief call his two sons?

What did the son corn say to the mama corn?

What did the Oxen say to his son moving out?

What is the difference between Napoleon and his son?

What did the overbearing mother melon say to her son and his girlfriend?

What did the two stoners do with their son when they divorced?

What did the teacher think of your idea?

Why does Mommy always say no?

What did the buffalo say to his boy before leaving for work?

Why's the couch smell like pee?

How'd you sleep last night?