Whenever we keep the money in the bags our son steals it, I don't know what to do?

Husband: Keep it in his books. I know he will never touch them....

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What are the chances you know an Olympic gymnast??

A stretch

How do you know if a Muslim is laughing online?

He types, "HALOL"

Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

What's the difference between a bag of sugar and a dead baby?

I don't use sugar in my signature cookies.

Why'd the vulture check his bag?

The airline didn't allow carrion luggage.

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What is Oedipus Rex's Mom's favorite Elton John song?

Don't Let The Son Go Down On Me

How are monster trucks made?

ME: Son, when a monster and a truck love each oth- GF: glares ME: He's old enough for the facts, Jane

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

What does a gangbanger have in common with a soda machine?

They both don't work and always take your money

Why do stoners spend so much money?

Because they're high rollers

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What do you get when you cross a Mexican and a black man?

Someone who steals your job then doesn't show up.

What do you get when you cross a black and a mexican?

Someone who's too lazy to steal.

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

What did the raisin see when she came home early from work?

Her husband on a date.

What do you call a wife that knows where her husband is at all time?

A widow

Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

What happens when Anthony Weiner tries to shake someones hand?

They think long and hard before they touch weiner.

What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students?

A PDF file.

Book Jokes More Book Jokes

What Should Make A Book Teacher: "What Should Be In A Book To Make It A Bestseller?

Jorkens: "A Girl On The Cover & No Cover On The Girl"

Why do you own a hot dog stand when you draw and write?

Me: Wanna buy my book Them: No. Me: That's why I own a hot dog stand.