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Whenever we keep the money in the bags our son steals it, I don't know what to do?

Husband: Keep it in his books. I know he will never touch them....

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's THE dirtiest joke you know?

Please make it extra dirty with a side of dirty.

What's the difference between "Fake News" and CNN?

I don't know Reddit, that's why I'm asking you

Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

What about the two old ladies who brought a bottle of whiskey to the baseball game?

At the bottom of the fifth the bags were loaded.

How is the world like a bag of jellybeans?

Nobody likes the black ones.

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What did the overbearing mother melon say to her son and his girlfriend?

You Cantaloupe.

What did the SMG dad say to his son?

Bizon Joke by:

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

How do Filipinos count money?

One-a two-a three-a four-a another-a...

What's the proper procedure when witnessing someone having a seizure in a bathtub?

Sprint to your room, grab all the dirty clothes you can, and start saving money on laundry.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What is the difference between J. Winston and a cat?

One ruins girls clothes and steals crab legs, the other one is also losing the Rose Bowl.

What happened when the monster stole a bottle of perfume?

He was convicted of fragrancy.

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

How many women have you slept with wife asked husband, "How many women have you slept with?

He proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

Who would you save first?

Wife asks her husband: Honey, If a lion attacks my mother and I, Who would you save first? Husband: Well, the lion!

Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

What disease is most easily contracted by touching your hands together?

The clap.

When is it time for bed at the Neverland Ranch?

When the big hand touches the little hand.

Book Jokes More Book Jokes

How does a lawyer sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other. Credit: Nicholas Sparks from his book 'See Me' which I am reading now.

Why did the book join the police?

He wanted to work undercover.