Where can you always find money?

In the dictionary.

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Why couldn't the scientist find salt for his breakfast?

Because it was Na HA! Get it? Because Na=sodium and N/A=not available. Seriously, this is good clean fun.

What should you do if you find a snake sleeping in your bed?

Sleep in the wardrobe!

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Whenever we keep the money in the bags our son steals it, I don't know what to do?

Husband: Keep it in his books. I know he will never touch them....

What's the fastest way to make money as a guitarist?

By selling your guitar.

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What do you call a play about a dictionary?

A pun!

Why are people still using a dictionary?

I just type the words into Google and see if it corrects me.