Find Jokes

Thought of this one on my own while playing WoW a couple days ago and I'm pretty sure it hasn't been told before. I like corny jokes. I Googled it and didn't find anything (:

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor?

Where's my tractor?

March Madness Sale

What kind of fish can you find in a hospital?

A sturgeon.

What do boys and algebra have in common?

They are both trying to find their X and they don't know Y.

What happens when i find a good joke?

I reddit.

How are children like cellphones?

If youve lost one and havent found it in a couple days, chances are its probably dead.

Why do telescopes like the Moon so much?

Because they find him very down to earth.

Why did the Stormtrooper buy an iPhone?

Because he couldn't find the Droid he was looking for.

Why is womens soccer so rare?

Its quite hard to find enough women willing to wear the same outfit.

What do you call a web developer who enjoys finding bugs in the system?

A spider

How did the steak knife find himself after drunk driving?

In car, serrated

What's worse than finding your dad's fleshlight?

Finding his blacklight.

March Madness Sale

What did the NFL Commissioner say when Adele turned down the Superbowl Halftime Show?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you

What did Mr. Spock find in the toilet?

The Captains log

What happened when Isaac Newton met the apple?

He found the apple was a surprisingly down-to-Earth kinda guy.

What's the stupidest animal you can find in a jungle?

A polar bear.

What would Burger Kings slogan be if Jesus founded it?

Have it Yahweh

One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Eve, but couldn't find them. God saw Adam and asked where Eve was? Adam replied, "She's down at the Ocean, taking a bath." "Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell."

Why cant orphans play baseball?

They cant find their home

Where do you find dragon milk?

Short legged cows

How many super saiyans does it take to change a light bulb?

Find out next time, on Dragon Ball Z!

What's the best part about Dragon Ball Z?

Find out in the next episode of Dragon! Ball! Z!

Why did the agnostic chicken cross the road?

There wasn't enough evidence to find out for sure.

How do we know that Jesus wasn't born in Mexico?

Because he'd never have been able to find 3 wise men and a virgin.

What U.S. state was founded by Muslims?

Allah-bama

Why don't nice people ride the train?

Because they're usually found on trucks.

What did Watson and Crick study to find DNA?

Rosalind Franklin's notes.

What does IDK mean?

I've yet to find someone who knows.

What can't I find on the internet?

My keys

How are a hobo and a balloon alike?

Both are without visible means of support. (My son found that in a children's joke book)

Why didn't they tell Chris Christie they took his pony away?

He would've found it hard to digest.

How can you find out the gender of an ant?

Throw it in the water. If it sinks, it's a girl ant. If it floats, it's buoyant

What's a mostly red rainbow called?

A pride flag found at Orlando.

What's the difference between awkward and awful?

Awkward is finding your mom on Tinder, awful is matching with her

Why did the gamer cross the road?

Buy the DLC to find out

Why did Tigger look down the toilet?

To find Pooh!

How does one find out the sensitivity of a gentleman's balls?

Test tickles

Why are all the archaeologists single?

Because they cant find dates

How do you find a drug dealer donkey?

Just follow his coke mules.

How did the farmer find his wife?

He tractor down

Why was the Boy having trouble finding power in the Cul-de-sac?

There was no outlet

Why did the boy peek down the toilet bowl?

He was trying to find Winnie the Pooh.

Why did the bee get married?

Because he found his honey.

What is the most annoying part of boiling vegetables?

Finding a pot big enough for the wheelchair.

How do you find out what gender a stray cat is?

Carefully

What's the key to finding love?

Rohypnol

What did the Swedish chef say to his girlfriend when he found out she was pregnant?

Abort - Bort - Bort!

Why did the bad demon burn after finding the length it took to rise diagonally from hell?

Cos' sin tans

What did Darth Vader say to Admiral Motti after browsing his collection of George Michael records?

I find your lack of Faith disturbing.

What will you find in the toilet of a ship?

The captains log.

What did Spock find in the Enterprise Bathroom?

The Captain's Log.

Who did the crocodiles call when they found one of their own dead?

The investiGATOR

How do you find out if the cat is dead or alive in the Schrodinger's cat paradox?

By thinking outside the box

How many stoners does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know, I just set the bulb down somewhere, now I can't find it. Where the hell did the bulb go?

Why did the circus animals go on strike?

The elephants found out that they were being paid peanuts compared to the rest of the troupe and the ringleader was taking the lions share.

What Color Is It?

In case you hadn't noticed, the color of the wind is 'blew.' Water always looks 'wet' to me. Dirt is oviously 'dirty.' Soup seems 'soupy.' If you can't find those Crayons in your box, contact CRAYOLA.

Why does Pokémon have only one save file per game?

I mean think about it, One for Charmander One for Squirtle and one for your second charmander. (found that but it's against rules to post links lol so I'll just leave that here for a good laugh)

What's the hardest thing about having a colostomy bag?

Finding shoes to go with it.

What's long, straight, and found between a pair of legs?

The hypotenuse.

Why couldn't the anthropologist find any Lomekwian tools?

They were looking in Oldowan places

What did Darth Vader say to the vegetarian stormtrooper?

I find your lack of steak disturbing.

What is the difference between complete and finished?

If you find the right woman, you're complete.

Which web developer enjoys finding bugs?

A spider!

Why was it so easy to find the buried communist treasure after the Cold War?

Because X Marx the spot.

What can you find on neckbeard bread?

M'old.

Why was Jesus not Mexican?

No matter how hard God looked, he could not find three wise men or a virgin anywhere in Mexico

Why couldn't the scientist find salt for his breakfast?

Because it was Na HA! Get it? Because Na=sodium and N/A=not available. Seriously, this is good clean fun.

What do you find inside a clean nose?

Fingerprints

Why is it so hard to find Thor's brother?

Because he stays low key

Why didn't Gordon Ramsay like the Girl Scout cream pies?

He found a hair in one.

Why is a banana the most attractive fruit?

Everyone finds it a-peeling.

How many babies does it take to stop a puck?

Ask Subban from the Hans to find out

How do you find a blind man on a nudist beach?

It's not hard...

What form of humor do Dentists find most offensive?

Plaqueface

Why is that Bono still hasn't found what he's looking for?

Because he's always standing by The Edge.

How do we confirm life on another planet?

If you find a rare Pepe drawn the disk.

What is your best sushi-related joke or pun?

My dad and I are going out for sushi tonight, and he has rescheduled this dinner with me several times for dumb reasons (one night was because he randomly decided to go out drinking instead). Would love to get my revenge by making sushi puns and jokes all night, but Google is failing me--I've only been able to find jokes that either make no sense, or are just not funny at all. Help!

How did they know Christa McAuliffe had dandruff?

They found her head and shoulders on the beach

Who was the hide-and-seek champion of 2005?

Nobody knows, they haven't found him yet.

How do you find a blind man in a nudist camp?

It's not hard.

Where can you always find kids by themselves?

Edit: i forgot to say please.

You might also enjoy:

Ladder Jokes More Ladder Jokes

What did the short boy bring to high school?

A ladder.

How many blonde's does it take to change a light bulb?

A. 3. 1 to find the bulb 1 to find a ladder and 1 to find a man.

Type Jokes More Type Jokes

What type of car would Jesus drive?

A Chrysler

What type of music do Irish people listen to?

Pubstep

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What do you call a dead chicken that likes to throw things?

A geist. Thanks! I will show myself out.

What's in Heaven and Hell?

In Heaven, the cops are British, the engineers are German, the lovers are French, the cooks are Italian and the whole thing is managed by the Swiss In Hell, the cops are German, the engineers are French, the lovers are Swiss, the cooks are British and the whole thing is managed by the Italians

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

Find Jokes

What does a dog do when it loses it's tail?

Love

What do pirates say when they find buried treasure?

Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Why are people from Arkansas so good at Science?

Why do Men find it hard to make eye contact?

What did Wonder Woman tell The Flash when he saw that he was greying?

Why are there no fertility clinics in Arkansas?

How do you find a dirty cop?

How do we know Princess Diana had dandruff?

What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas?

What does a mathematicion find in a forest?

Your Age Is Only Math

Why won't you find any gondolas in the Eternal City?

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

Why can't a blonde dial 911?

How do we know Paul Walker had dandruff?

Where did the coffee bean find his soul mate?

What are the odds I could find the sum of numbers from 1-100?

Why did the feminist get triggered?

Why couldn't Mozart find his mentor?

Why didn't the monk sell his temple?