Why did Waldo go to therapy?

To find himself.

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When you wife asked you to buy her car, why did you buy her a diamond instead?

Because I couldn't find a fake car.

How to find out who loves you more - your dog or your wife?

Easy. Lock them both in a trunk and watch who will be happier to see you after you open it in 15 minutes.

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Why is Waldo always wearing striped clothing?

Because he doesn't want to be spotted

Why did Waldo wear a striped shirt?

He didn't want to be spotted.

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Why did the Egyptian kid in therapy?

Because he thought his daddy was his mummy.

Why did the bolt in the ceiling have to go to therapy?

Because it was screwed up!