What's the hardest thing about having a colostomy bag?

Finding shoes to go with it.

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Where do you find red eyed rodents?

Hamsterdam!

How did the knight know that his armor was made in China?

He found a chink in it.

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Why didn't the grizzly wear any shoes?

He wanted to go bear foot.

Why did the mother bear ask the baby bear to wear shoes before he ran through the forest?

Because he was barefooted!!!

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What's the hardest thing about being a vegan crossfitter who went to Harvard?

Figuring out what to tell you about first.

What is the hardest thing about walking through a field of dead babies?

My erection.