What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire?

How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on Thanksgiving)

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why didn't the little girl want to leave nursery school?

She wanted to be a nurse.

Why are pilots so honest?

Keep those maintenance issues quiet. I want lies, frankly. "We're delayed because we're winning a safety award."

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How did they know Christa McAuliffe had dandruff?

They found her head and shoulders on the beach

How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb?

You will find out when the light comes on.

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What form of humor is nonexistent in black culture?

Dad jokes

What's your excuse?

Well my dad says the world is changing every day. So I decided to wait until it settles down!

Retire Jokes More Retire Jokes

What's the fastest branch of the military?

The Marines. When they retire, they're corvettes.

What do you call a cop who doesn't shoot innocent black people?

1. Acquitted 2. Fired, retired or expired

Performer Jokes More Performer Jokes

What happened to the performer who read poetry to terminally ill patients?

He suffered an elegiac reaction.

What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire?

How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on Thanksgiving)

Source Jokes More Source Jokes

What do you call a crowd-sourced internet database for turntables?

Wiki-Wiki-Wikipedia

Why should you never mention the number 288?

Because it's two gross! (A gross is a measurement unit for "144". So 2 * 144 = 288. Or "two gross".)

Thanksgive Jokes More Thanksgive Jokes

Why cant programmers tell the difference between Christmas and Thanksgiving?

Because oct 31 = dec 25

What's brown and white and flies all over?

Thanksgiving turkey when you carve it with a chain saw!